Who knows? By the time you read this, the Atlantic Coast Conference could have a Pacific Division, Northeastern and Northwestern could join the Sun Belt Conference and the Big East will continue to set slowly in the West.
But one thing never changes: The BS — baloney sandwiches — keep on coming.
In announcing Rutgers’ move to the Big Ten, last week, athletic director Tim Pernetti’s sincerity would have been more credible had he attached his remarks to a laugh track. Pernetti kept using the “A-word,” as if Rutgers was driven, to a significant degree, on academics. The best of Pernetti’s best: “It’s a transformative day for Rutgers University. The Big Ten is the ultimate academic neighborhood to live in and we’re now in that neighborhood.”
Of course, Pernetti was kind of stuck. It would have been indiscreet to tell the truth, that this move was predicated solely on money, most of it supplied by TV networks, none of which makes value judgments based on academics, either.
Rutgers decision to join the Vig Ten, er, Big Ten, has no more to do with academics than Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issues have to do with swimsuits. Or was RU turned down by the Ivy League?
Rutgers figures in exchange for the $10 million in buyout dough to abandon the Big East, it will, in time, at least triple its take from TV deals. But seeing how Rutgers doubles as a college, Pernetti — no Division I AD, for that matter — can tell such a stand-alone truth.
Academics, that’s rich. As if Big Ten schools are immune from academic fraud (see, for starters, Ohio State).
But perhaps Pernetti, once a Rutgers tight end then radio analyst, learned about discretion in late December 2008, when he addressed a pep rally before Rutgers played in the PapaJohns.com Bowl.
Feigning a nose-and-throat issue, Pernetti pulled out a copy of New Jersey’s Star-Ledger, gave it a look, blew his nose in it, crumpled it, threw it aside, grabbed a microphone, then, to cheers said, “That’s better.”
The newspaper had recently published an investigative series on how Rutgers sold its soul — was running up tens of millions of dollars in bills that would be paid by public and student funding — some of it intentionally hidden from view — to play “Big Time College Football.”
So Pernetti, who last week portrayed himself as an enlightened man in service to higher education, on this night publicly condemned the messenger to the contents of his nasal passages. Classy. Now, everyone to the library for the book burnings!
Academics? In order to throw every dime at football, Rutgers eliminated six varsity sports that regularly produced both All Americans and, not just genuine student-athletes, but scholar-athletes.
And all along the way, Rutgers’ football stadium needed enlarging, while prices for everything from tickets to parking to, eventually, luxury suites — not to mention construction costs — went up, up, up. That stadium remains a money pit.
That stadium, as of 2009, seats 52,400, now may not be big enough for some Big Ten home games, thus Rutgers is already considering the Meadowlands’ PSL Stadium as its alternate home. Three years after its latest stadium money-throw, Rutgers’ stadium teeters on insufficiency.
Now that Maryland — it spent $50 million to buy its way out of the ACC — and Rutgers have created a 14-school Big Ten, reader Darren Alacqua asks: “Which of these storied football programs will be placed in the Legends division, which in the Leaders division?”
Legends or Leaders, Credit or Debit, what’s in a name?
Anyway, Saturday, the same newspaper into which Pernetti emptied his nose reported the 8,500 square-foot home of former Rutgers football coach Greg Schiano — built for him in 2007 by Rutgers on what had been designated an ecological preserve — was still on the market.
But the market’s soft, thus Schiano has cut his asking price from $2.3 million to $2 million.
Tim Pernetti must feel a sneeze coming on.
Stats insane, ESPN
The best way to watch football, these days, is to first remove your brain — toss it in the freezer for the day — then try not to drown in your own drool.
After Wisconsin-Penn State, stat-stupid ESPN reported Bill O’Brien is the first PSU coach to win eight games in his first season. Zounds! He’s PSU’s third coach in the last 62 years! And in 1950, they scheduled nine games, not 12!
At the top of Stanford-UCLA, Fox’s screaming genius Gus Johnson: “In these two teams, Charles [Davis], we have the potential to watch a very violent, violent football game! And we can’t wait to see it!” In that case, Gus, we’ll switch to the plasma screen.
During ABC/ESPN’s Notre Dame-USC, a keeper by ND quarterback Everett Golson was stopped for no gain (now known as “no positive yardage”). Kirk Herbstreit: “Great job of leveraging the football by USC, something that has been a concern in recent weeks.” Yeah, we were worried sick about USC’s inability to leverage the football.
Friday on Fox, Washington State QB Jeff Tuel’s pass was bobbled by WR Brett Bartolone, then grabbed by Washington DB Erich Wilson — technically, an interception. One quarter later, after Tuel’s strong completion stats appeared, Craig Bolerjack: “He did throw that interception in the first half.” Geez.
Yesterday, during Broncos-Chiefs, a CBS graphic told us that KC’s Javier Arenas has a “20.0 yards average” — on his one punt return.
But hooray for the Bears! Because they were up, 25-3, on the Vikes, Fox switched us to Falcons-Bucs, sparing us a second half of Moose Johnston’s relentless speechmaking. Anyone, maybe Tony “Goose” Siragusa, ever consider slipping Moose a Mickey, a pregame pint of NyQuil?
Jets fly down ‘Hill’ in only 52 seconds
As For the Patriots’ 21 points in 52 seconds against the Jets, reader Arnie Castillo writes, “The only thing missing was the Benny Hill music.”
Reader Al Montella notes the Jets’ “superb balance. In under a minute the Pats scored against their defense, offense and a special team.”
* Against Miami on Saturday, the Duke Blue Devils wore black football uniforms.
* Last week Mike Francesa rudely dismissed callers who rightly noted that Rams’ coach Jeff Fisher erred by going for two, down 14, late, to the Jets. While Francesa wanted listeners to believe that those callers didn’t know what they were talking about, it was clear to all that only Francesa didn’t know what they were talking about.
* SNY’s 1968 “Mets Yearbook,” Saturday, included a shot of a food vendor wearing a large badge that read “30 Cents.”