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I’m a nervous wreck at office holiday parties. I’m not very good at small talk, and I never know what to say to the boss. Does it look bad if I make an excuse that I can’t attend?

You’re a nervous wreck?! Try being the head of HR . Where others see a good time, I see a minefield of career-limiting moves. Call me Scrooge, but it’s important to remember that office holiday parties are still a work event. Trying to steal a kiss from a co-worker in the elevator isn’t OK at work, and having one too many and doing the same thing at the party isn’t OK either.

Here are my tips for how to behave at the office holiday party. Smile, nurse one cocktail at most in your left hand — although club soda is better — and leave your right hand free for shaking hands. Go up to your boss and thank him or her for throwing the party; ask about plans for the holidays, share yours and then move on. Make sure you see and thank anyone else who is important and give a few quick hugs and air kisses to close colleagues. Then, maybe find a cocktail table and nibble away at a small plate with a few of them before you call it a night. Happy holidays!

I own a high-end dental practice in a very affluent section of the city and need to hire a front-desk receptionist. Given my location and clientele, the receptionist needs to have a certain appearance. Is it legal for me to write in a job posting that applicants must submit a résumé and photo?

While not prohibited by law, asking for a photo in a job ad is not smart to because it could expose you to race, age or gender discrimination claims. Retail establishments, bars, restaurants, even strip clubs (or so I’m told!) all seem to be able to hire staff who have the “look” they are going for without asking for a photo with the application — or violating the law. And, for what it’s worth, while it might be curious if the dental assistant has the smile of a hockey player or boxer, nothing, not even a swimsuit model at the front desk, is going to make anyone want to come to the dentist more than is absolutely necessary.