Well, this is a little awkward. Hondo bid farewell last week thinking the Mayans knew what they were talking about when they predicted the world would end today. But here you are reading this, so apparently their formulas were flawed. Oh, well, now it’s on to the fiscal cliff.
As for Week 15, Hondo regained his long lost swagger, going 10-6 to move on up to solo fourth — only five back with 32 to go.
The late surge to the top continues with these stocking stuffers:
Falcons over Lions: Getting crushed by the semi-pro Cardinals is a fairly good indication the Mane Men have lost their pride and packed it in for 2012. Warning to Matt Ryan: Be ready for a Ndamukong Suh cup check.
Ravens over Giants: It’s looking like a blue Christmas for Giants fans. But then again, nobody was packing for another Big Blue magic carpet ride, were they? Face it, Eli has gone from elite to erratic, the defense is uninspired, and Coughlin suddenly doesn’t know enough to go for a field goal late in the half down 17-0.
Chargers over Jets: Now that Sanchez and Tebow are all but goners, when do the keen football minds who were responsible for making the trades that brought them in get swept out the door?
From BarkingMut of SoBe: Given the Jets’ disaster this year, historians have now calculated that the Ryan Calendar ends at 4 p.m. on Dec. 30.
Titans over Packers: The New York Public Library will begin a $300 million renovation of its main branch next year. No word on whether it will include a special pervert wing or if library administrators will continue to let the heavy-breathers sit among the kiddies and troll the computers for smut.
Raiders over Panthers: Neighbors of Rielle Hunter reportedly have been complaining her down-and-dirty sex sessions with John Edwards have been spiced up with some noisy and naughty repartee. Stuff like: Rielle: “Give it to me, Johnny!” John: “Hey, c’mon, Rielle, don’t mess with the hair;” or, Rielle: “Go, Johnny, go!” John: “How many times do I have to tell you, be careful with the coif!”
Dolphins over Bills: There continues to be a growing clamor for Hillary to run for president in 2016. Let’s just hope by then the presumptive nominee is no longer woozy from the alleged concussion she suffered when dehydration from a stomach virus caused her to faint (or was it a feint?), and enabled her to cancel her Congressional testimony about Benghazi.
Bengals over Steelers: Nancy Pelosi may have been speaking for ’Crats and Repubs this week when she was asked about Hillary running in 2016: “Wouldn’t that be exciting?” she responded. “I hope she goes.” Yes, by all means, she should go.
Patriots over Jaguars: With Hillary sitting out the hearings because of the serendipitous concussion, BarkingMut claims Leon Panetta, Susan Rice and the entire top level of the State Department have all been flopping on their respective kitchen floors earlier this week in search of a KO.
Colts over Chiefs: In other Clinton news, Martin Scorsese will produce a documentary for HBO about Bill Clinton. Word is there will be no mention of his sex scandal, which seems odd. How can Scorsese not mention Monica and the Crusty Blue Love Dress when making a movie about one of the semenal figures of American politics?
Cowboys over Saints: Former ABC newscaster Sam Donaldson was arrested in Delaware this week for DUI. Sources say he was so drunk his hangover was worse than his comb-over.
Redskins over Eagles: Before completing the rest of his selections, Mr. Aitch needs to know one thing: Are you a true resident of HondoNation, or are you what Rob Parker might call “a cornball” resident? In other words: Are you down with the cause or not?
Buccaneers over Rams: It’s a Manhood Reclamation Game for the Bucs, who were drawn and French Quartered last week.
Vikings over Texans: Props to Obama for winning his second Time Person of the Year award. It’s good to see the president recognized for the accomplishment of getting re-elected after amassing debt at a reckless and record-breaking rate. Next up: a second Nobel Peace Prize.
Broncos over Browns: Two women from Irving, Texas, are suing the Texas State Troopers after they were pulled over for littering then subjected to full-cavity body searches. If the hyper-aggressive troopers end up losing their jobs, chances are they will be hired up by the TSA.
Bears over Cards: Having lost five of their past six, the Bears get just the pick-me-up they need — Christmas Cards.
Seahawks over 49ers: Sit back and enjoy some Pete Carroll-Jim Harbaugh hatred — just in time for the holidays. The Seahags’ home edge, stout D and suddenly percolating O means Carroll, the fugitive from USC justice, will escape with a victory.
BEST BETS: Bengals, Bucs, Broncos.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good week of handicapping.