Christina Aguilera
Bad (FilmMagic)
Miley Cyrus
Good (Reuters)
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If Joan Rivers is your go-to cop for nailing the good, the bad, and the “what the hell was she thinking?” fashion commentary, then for sure you’ll love the year-end wrap of her popular E! show, “Fashion Police.”
Just in time for the worst-dressed night-into-day event, New Year’s Eve, Rivers and permanent panelist police Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne and George Kotsiopoulos take apart the year in fashion — who’s evolved, who’s devolved and who needs to be arrested for crimes against humanity.
Of course, you’ll have your own picks, but Miley Cyrus is definitely one of the panel’s most improved celebrities. (My pick is slim and chic Kelly Osbourne, who used to look like she got run over on the way out of McDonald’s).
But since Osbourne’s a panelist, the panel had to go outside the house and wisely chose Cyrus. Of course, the ever-gracious Rivers says, “She now looks like the kind of girl her uncles would be proud to [bleep].” Yikes.
About Heidi Klum? Before the split from Seal, they say she was perfection. Since splitting and taking up with her bodyguard, she’s reverted, according to Rivers, to her Nazi ancestral taste!
“I went to Heidi’s house,” Rivers says, “And her oven seats 12!” Ouch.
Rihanna is named as sexiest great dresser, about whom Kotsiopoulos raves, “It’s easy to look slutty, sexy is difficult.”
Rivers, who has been in a Twitter war with the gorgeous singer, sniffs, “I wish that girl could take a joke the way she takes a punch.”
It’s not just all about women on the red carpet either. There’s Ryan Lochte, for example. The 11-time Olympic medalist swimmer, who had the horrible bad luck to wear a bright red-leather jacket, the likes of which haven’t been seen since the heyday of Member’s Only, was a good choice for bad taste. With a body like that he should just show up everywhere in that Speedo.
While the jokes fly fast and tough here, at the end of the day — or, more specifically, the end of the year — it’s really all about the clothes.
What person even nominally involved in fashion doesn’t play Monday morning fashion police? Let’s celebrate a year of great bad taste.