What a windbag.
A Social Security Administration employee was formally reprimanded and accused of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer” — for farting up a storm in his workplace.
The reprimand, issued to a claims authorizer on Dec. 10, includes a detailed log of 60 gassy episodes over 17 days in the agency’s Baltimore office, The Smoking Gun reported.
“I asked if you could make it to the restroom before releasing the awful and unpleasant odor,” a manager wrote. “I informed you that the smell from your being flatulent disturbed your co-workers and disrupted the work environment.”
The employee, identified by the Web site as a 38-year-old Maryland man who handles the agency’s disability claims, tried to finger his gas problem on “some medical conditions.”
The man also provided evidence that his conditions might prevent him from working a full day.
His manager didn’t buy it. “Nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this situation.”
The smelly state of affairs was first raised in May when he was told during a performance evaluation that his co-workers were complaining and unwilling to help him with his work.
Three months later, he told a deputy division director that he was lactose intolerant and would buy some Gas-X.
“He asked that you check with your doctor to see if there are other options to help you address your flatulence and that you could not pass gas indefinitely and continue to disrupt the workplace,” the document said.
But whatever action the government worker took, he couldn’t manage to tame the toot.
“You have continued to release the odor and it has become intolerable to work in the module creating a hostile work environment for all your co-workers,” the manager charged.
According to the log, the gas-passer let loose anywhere between once and nine times a day.
There was no indication which worker was assigned to catalogue the stench.
The man even offered to turn on a fan to stanch the stink — but the manager reasoned that “turning on the fan would cause the smell to spread and worsen the air quality in the module.”
The reprimand was the least severe penalty available to make him aware of how serious his actions were. He was warned that he could be fired if fetid incidents continued.
The man was told his behavior was “discourteous, disrespectful, and entirely inappropriate” and could not be tolerated by the agency.
“Disrespectful and unprofessional behavior is unacceptable and detracts from the agency’s ability to maintain a safe, pleasant and productive work environment,” according to the document.
The man, who could not be reached, is being represented by his union, the American Federation of Government Employees.