It probably is just a romantic getaway with the wife, a chance to recharge batteries short-circuited by a season that will live in infamy even by New York Jet standards. The news that coach Rex Ryan has taken off for the Bahamas means he is certain to come back tanned and rested for the joint press conference with owner Woody Johnson that Team Transparency has scheduled for … next Tuesday!
So while the seven other beleaguered franchises furiously press to find the right men to coach their team in 2013 and beyond, the Jets fiddle while Jets Nation burns — their embattled, diminished head coach jets from One Jets Drive to One Casino Drive on Paradise Island back to One Jets Drive, awaiting news on the results of the search for the new and potentially-hostile GM … which won’t begin until Friday.
Just another day in Paradise for Jets fans!
So Ryan has lost Mike Tannenbaum, his four-year partner in crime. Ryan doesn’t have a winning quarterback, he has major upheaval on his coaching staff, and it sure looks as if he will have no say on the new GM whom Johnson and Jed Hughes eventually will be interviewing while Ryan is out of sight and out of mind.
At least we now know Johnson hasn’t tied Ryan to a chair inside the Atlantic Health Jets Training Center with a muzzle on the mouth that no longer roars.
A communique emailed at 3 p.m. yesterday from inside the NFL’s Kremlin walls informed this side of the Iron Curtain that the inexcusable new game the Jets have foisted upon the league — Hide and Reek — will thankfully come to an end, a mere nine days after the end of the season, and a mere two days after the completion of the wild-card playoff round.
Ryan will wish he was back on Paradise Island when it does.
And we quote: “At the Cove Atlantis, indulgence is a way of life. Whatever your pleasure, we’ll never tell.” (Easy, Rex.)
“Closed-door cabanas, decadent daybeds and big-time blackjack by the adults-only pool. Perfectly prepared steaks and freshly made margaritas at Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill. Partying like a rock star at our exclusive beach club. We encourage it all.” (Nothing in Rexcess, now, please, you’re a lame duck as it is.)
“Because the best times at the Cove involve at least a little bit of all this — and, usually, far too much of many other very good things.”
A shame the Ryans and the Tannenbaums couldn’t have enjoyed such luxury together.
Of course, there is history for groundbreaking developments in the Bahamas in the annals of Jets history. That was where former Jets owner Leon Hess, watching television, could not believe his 80-year-old eyes when the Eagles fired Rich Kotite. With far more urgency than Johnson has displayed to date, it wasn’t long before Hess proudly was introducing Kotite to Jets Nation after whacking Pete Carroll after one season.
“[Kotite is] a fighter, a builder,” Hess announced, “a ‘dese-and-dose’ guy, a leader. He’ll bring our New York Jets back to where we’ll all be proud of them.”
Two years later, following 28 losses in 32 games, Kotite announced he was stepping aside — for Hess’ big catch, Tuna Parcells.
So while the Chiefs and then Cardinals interview Andy Reid, who undoubtedly has a staff in place, and the Jaguars interview David Caldwell, Tom Gamble and Steve Keim for their GM opening, and the Eagles interview Mike Nolan, Keith Armstrong and Chip Kelly, and the Bills vigorously pursue Kelly and Ken Whisenhunt, Jets fans are left wondering whether Jed Hughes from Korn Ferry — or is Korn Ferry from Jed Hughes? — and Johnson have lined up the right candidates.
And whether Ryan truly is safe, or whether Johnson will have a new head coach sitting on the dais with him next week.
No doubt it’s a long shot, but just suppose Tom Heckert, fired by the Browns, blows away Hughes and Johnson in his scheduled meeting and convinces them Mike Holmgren, the man who hired him in Cleveland, is intrigued by the job? Holmgren wasn’t interested in the Jets when Dick Steinberg came calling in 1990 prior to the hiring of Bruce Coslet, but he does have the itch to return to the sidelines.
Or what if Bill Cowher suddenly were to throw his chin into the ring?
Or what if Johnson introduces Mitt Romney as his next GM?
Or what if Ryan reads a shocking handwritten HC NYJ note?
Or what if a shirtless Tebow screams invective from the back of the room?
Another day in paradise for sure.
steve.serby@nypost.com