Who is my NFL Player of the Year? Glad you asked. It’s Robert Griffin III.
No player had the ability — the gift, start to finish — to reveal the dopiest reactions in the TV and radio media.
It began Sept. 9, in the first quarter of the first game. Griffin rolled out to pass, dropped the ball (that’s an antiquated expression for “put it on the ground”), picked it up, looked around, then ran for a short gain (now more commonly known as “positive yardage”).
On FOX, you would have thought Moose Johnston had just won the Publishers’ Clearinghouse sweepstakes and The Harvest Moon Ball. He marveled at Griffin’s “poise,” gushed over his “ability to look downfield.” Johnston was overwhelmed by what he had just seen from the rookie and strongly urged us to join him — a good idea given that Moose seemed to be falling apart.
Then there was that Rob Parker episode on ESPN’s “First Take” show in which Parker, while acknowledging he doesn’t know Griffin, cast serious doubt on Griffin’s authenticity as a black man because he doesn’t fulfill Parker’s speak-for-all qualifications to be “a brother.”
The fallout was intense, and, likely because Parker couldn’t keep quiet, even during his suspension — he went on a Detroit TV station to discuss the matter, suggesting that his comments about Griffin, to some extent, were pre-approved — he recently was sacked.
But in his continuing (and now worthless) defense, it used to be that at most TV and radio places the rule was that if you don’t have anything intelligent to say, don’t say it.
Now, TV and radio stations and networks make all kinds of room for people to say crazy, shocking, attention-generating things. It’s considered good business!
And at ESPN, if you don’t have anything intelligent to say, then it’s a good idea to save it for “First Take.”
Beyond that, for what else could Parker have been hired than to be a racial flame-thrower? He seldom demonstrated credible insights into sports. He would just kinda rattle on, filling space. Besides “racial agitator” is now a standard media position, an employment op — and good work if you can get it.
Parker’s dismissal reminds me of the Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder racial matter, which, like Griffin, was based in Washington, D.C. CBS hired Snyder because he had a big mouth that emitted half-baked notions and opinions. CBS fired him for the same reason.
Early this week, Griffin helped remind us that in addition to all his academic degrees, Mike Francesa has one — at least — in orthopedic medicine and the advanced science of BLR (body language reading).
Without personally examining the patient, Dr. Francesa — who also has a Ph.D, MA and BA in BS and is a Doctor of Sophistry — was, from his special front-row seat in front of his special TV set on Sunday, able to provide both a diagnosis and public lecture on the physical condition of Griffin’s leg — the injured one for which he left the game — plus Griffin’s courage quotient.
It was Dr. Francesa’s expert opinion that Griffin could have and should have remained in the game.
The next day, it was announced Griffin would have right knee surgery.
In 2006, Doc Francesa then co-host Chris Russo bashed Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez as a dog and a quitter after he was shelled and removed early, the day before. Martinez was pitching despite claiming injury.
Two days later, Martinez was pronounced done — he needed shoulder surgery. He didn’t pitch again for 11 months. Francesa threw the entire matter into his “Lost Tapes” warehouse.
Still, with confidence and authority, Francesa issued his medical diagnosis and strong opinion, based on his examination of Griffin as performed on his special TV.
That’s why Griffin’s our Player of the Year. He brings out the best of the worst!
Cablevision viewers locked out of hockey refunds
What if Cablevision rebated or credited subscribers who were forced to pay for all that lost hockey? Would the rebate be from the 1992 NHL strike? The 1994-95 lockout? The 2004-05 lockout? Or the 2012-13 lockout?
Four times in 20 years subscribers have paid local systems for hundreds of unplayed games, yet that never has become an issue with either the NHL or NHLPA, both of which have been eager to win fans’ support.
Meanwhile, reader Joseph Cosgriff has been wondering what message the NHL will deliver from just under the ice surface. You’ll recall that the 2005-06 season, following an entire lost season, featured, “Thank You Fans” — the comma after “You” deemed an unnecessary expense.
Cosgriff figures that The Garden will be able to choose from several, including:
“Go ahead and boo, we’ll just play Metallica to drown you out.”
“No Columbus Blue Jackets game this year. You save $300 (less shipping & handling).”
“We have your money through the first round of the playoffs.”
And, “We knew that you knew that you’d be back.”
* Does TV ever make any righteous value judgments? Last Friday night in Florida, more than 90 high school seniors gathered to play in an all-star football game on ESPN. The next day in Texas, the same thing on NBC.
That’s nearly 200 kids — all-stars, most already scouted or recruited — who were removed from high school during what likely is the first week of the new term in order to play a needless, dangerous game just to create TV programming.
New low point for Herbie
Memo to Kirk Herbstreit (cc: Mike Mayock), who, during Monday’s Alabama-Notre Dame BCS title game, said a player who jumped to get to the ball had “high-pointed” it: Herbie — you don’t mind if I call you Herbie? — you can’t high-point anything that’s coming down. I know it sounds crazy, but why not go with, say, “jumped” for the ball?
* SNY anchor Gary Apple has caught the disease. Tuesday he reported, “We know Connecticut can score the basketball.”
* Content Alert: Brian Billick, FOX analyst on today’s Seahawks-Falcons, is the brother-in-law of Falcons coach Mike Smith.
* PGA semi-regular Notah Begay has been hired by NBC’s Golf Channel as an on-course reporter for both NBC and GC and as a GC studio analyst. Can’t hurt that Begay’s tight with Tiger Woods, thus access to Woods for those say-nothing post-round interviews should be enhanced, and even more Woods-pandering on both networks virtually is guaranteed.
Lookalikes
Harold Clark submits Woody Johnson and Les Nessman (actor Richard Sanders), the news reader from “WKRP in Cincinnati.”