SELLING YOURSELF SHORT:Dressing provocatively can distract others from the good work you’re doing. (Getty Images/OJO Images RF)
SOMETHING TO SHOUT ABOUT:Being a hothead is one of the most self-sabotaging workplace behaviors, say experts. (Getty Images/Blend Images)
ROY COHENauthor, “The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide”
MEREDITH HABERFELDNew York City-based career counselor
KAREN KANGpersonal branding expert and author of “Branding Pays”
KEN LINDNERauthor, “Your Killer Emotions”
NICOLE WILLIAMSLinkedIn’s career expert and author of “Girl on Top”
BILL LEIDERauthor, “Brand Delusions”
NO MORE MESSING AROUND: If you slip up at work, all hope isn’t lost, say workplace experts: There are ways to bounce back from your blunder. (
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THE CAREER EXPERTS:
ROY COHEN, author, “The Wall Street Professional’s Survival Guide”
MEREDITH HABERFELD, New York City based career counselor
KAREN KANG, personal branding expert and author of “Branding Pays”
KEN LINDNER, author, “Your Killer Emotions”
NICOLE WILLIAMS, LinkedIn’s career expert and author of “Girl on Top”
BILL LEIDER, author, “Brand Delusions”
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To his niece he’s an uncle who rocks; to his boss he’s an amateur thief: The same simple act earned George Smith each of these titles.
In January, Smith (who asked The Post not to use his real name, fearing career repercussions), a marketing manager at a Midtown cosmetics company, grabbed 100 mini lip glosses and blushes from his supply closet and gave them to his niece to put into the gift bags for her Sweet Sixteen party.
“They were promotional samples that weren’t being used,” recalls Smith, 38. “They could collect dust or make some young girls real happy.”
It was a no-brainer to Smith — and the delight he saw in the girls’ eyes was priceless, he says: “I felt like Oprah giving away cars.”
But his jubilation was short-lived. Smith’s boss got wind of the pilfering — and he was flabbergasted. Smith tried playing the “Everybody does it” card, explaining how women at the company take samples and testers home each time a new color comes out.
“But to be perfectly honest,” he says, “I really didn’t think much about it. It seemed like a great idea at the time.”
The cost of his “good idea”? He’s no longer on the fast track to upper management, and the projects he’s assigned are tedious and far from the spotlight. “I’m out of here as soon as I can find a better job,” he says.
Smith is hardly the only employee guilty of acting without thinking and making poor, impulsive decisions on the job. “Self-sabotaging behavior happens all of the time,” says Manhattan career coach Meredith Haberfeld. “It ranges from moderate to severe.”
But there is a ray of hope. People can — and do — learn from their mistakes. And if they do, they will likely be forgiven — and, in turn, have an opportunity to rise again, say career counselors.
“This is America — a country that loves underdogs and embraces those who work to redeem themselves,” says Bill Leider, author of “Brand Delusions.”
We asked career coaches the self-sabotaging (or just plain stupid) workplace behaviors they’ve noticed, the repercussions involved and how the situations could be remedied. Here’s a summary:
The blunder: Engaging in an office affair. “It almost always ends up in disaster,” says LinkedIn career expert Nicole Williams.
The fallout: Sleeping with co-workers is often against company policy — and if that’s the case, you’re fired: “It’s an open-and-shut case,” says Cohen. But potential fallout also depends on where you rank. If you’re a boss, and there’s a nasty breakup, you risk a sexual-harassment suit. If you’re a subordinate, you may get cast aside — or the company might even find reasons to dismiss you.
If you had worn your thinking cap: Before jumping into bed, you would have considered the potential consequences. If you think you’ve met your soul mate, that’s one thing. “But keep in mind,” adds Cohen, “what makes for a good work partner may not make a good relationship.”
If the worst happens, here’s the repair: “Keep your nose down, and focus on your work,” says Williams. Kang suggests fixing your attention on doing good work. “Remember Bill Clinton,” she adds. People no longer remember him solely for his indiscretion while in office, she notes: They think about his foundation and the good that he does. You, too, can help rebuild your brand by working hard.
The blunders: Being a hothead. Refusing to compromise. Having temper tantrums and walking out of meetings when you can’t have your way. “Having sharp elbows and being too aggressive with peers is one of the most self-sabotaging behaviors in the workplace,” says Haberfeld.
The fallout: Even if you excel at what you do and the company would like to promote you based on your accomplishments and abilities, “they may have to fire you instead, due to the way you interact,” says Haberfeld.
If you had worn your thinking cap: You’d recognize that you can’t do it alone and that no one wants to work with a bully, rage-aholic or egomaniac. In order to be successful, you must be collaborative — no matter where you work and no matter who you are, says Lindner.
If the worst happens, here’s the repair: Immediately cease and desist the behavior. Next, apologize face-to-face — without being defensive. Then change. “You can’t put lipstick on a pig, you have to change the pig,” says Kang. One way to change is by learning how to play nicely in the sandbox — contribute to the team.
The blunder: Lying — by claiming you have credentials you don’t have, that you’ve worked at places that you didn’t work or produced results you didn’t produce. “With social networks and tools like LinkedIn readily available, you’re going to get found out,” says Williams. Last year, Haberfeld counseled a sales rep who reported fake sales using bogus credit card numbers in order to look good; she appeared manipulative and had to work her tail off to restore her reputation. “While trying to boost her career, she actually trashed it,” says Haberfeld.
The fallout:
Getting reprimanded, fired or even being criminally charged and prosecuted are possible consequences. But there’s another one. “Even if you never get caught, you lose the ability to be effective when you are living under a mountain of lies,” Williams notes.
If you had worn your thinking cap:
You wouldn’t rationalize your behavior: “In everything you do, you must be consequence cognizant,” says Lindner. In fact, you might have realized that in taking such an action you risk committing career suicide.
If the worst happens, here’s the repair:
“Apologize, saying that you realize how wrong this is. Promise it will never happen again. Never let it happen again, and then get busy,” says Kang. “Be bold about staking out an area that matters to the company that you can be known for. Change the narrative about you.”
The blunder: Dressing provocatively — your bust or your bum (or both) — overshadows your accomplishments. “You may think your boobs look great,” says Williams, “and they might.” But being known for them in the workplace — especially if you want to get ahead — shouldn’t be your goal.
The fallout:
You likely won’t get fired (unless your company has a specific dress code), but, “You risk not being taken seriously,” says Williams. People may not see how bright you are — because your other assets are stealing the spotlight.
If you had worn your thinking cap: You would have considered Kang’s definition of personal brand: How you dress is a big part of it. “A personal brand is your reputation and image,” she says. “[Someone] who wants to be on the management track might think about moving toward the more polished look of a leader.”
If the worst happens, here’s the repair:
If your wardrobe makes the Kardashian sisters look chaste, start dressing differently. Sure, it feels good to look great, but chances are that buttoning your shirt and wearing a less form-fitting pair of trousers or skirt won’t change that — but it might change how people see you.