It’s the oldest story ever told. No, really, it is: This new musical revisits Adam, Eve, the fruit-based temptation and the fall from grace.
But though the York Theatre is in the basement of St. Peter’s Church, the show — much like the frothy 1966 tuner “The Apple Tree” — shies from religious or spiritual matters to focus on light-hearted romance. This isn’t surprising since the book is by Joe DiPietro.
Before winning a Tony for “Memphis,” DiPietro’s claim to fame was the long-running off-Broadway hit about dating “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change.” This time, he’s pretty much written “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Try This Apple.”
As its title indicates, “Falling for Eve” focuses on finding — and keeping — your soulmate. Which isn’t easy when the lovebirds are the hunky but dim Adam (Jose Llana, late of “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee”) and the sexy but reckless Eve (Krystal Joy Brown).
In the spirit of equal opportunity, God pops up as either a smooth-talking man (Adam Kantor) or a sassy woman (Sasha Sloan). They’re helped by angels (Jennifer Blood, Nehal Joshi) who have the chirpy, wholesome enthusiasm of docents in a Midwestern megachurch.
Come to think of it, this applies to the show as a whole.
Director Larry Raben sets a constantly cheerful tone: His Eden is a kitschy ’60s paradise of shag carpeting and psychedelic lighting. Beowulf Boritt’s main scenic element vaguely recalls the CBS logo; the tree’s trunk is a refurbished lava lamp.
A lot of this irony is on purpose — but not all of it.
Bret Simmons and David Howard’s dull-witted numbers, in particular, have a distinct Up With People! vibe, jaunty and bland. In the rollicking list song “Good Things Are A Comin’,” the female God informs us of what Adam and Eve’s descendents can look forward to: “Einstein, Patsy Cline/Krispy Kreme, I have a dream.” And that’s a highlight.
Some of my favorite bits are inadvertently memorable. When Eve takes a bite of the apple, lights flash in alert and a quick video montage includes a shot of a swastika flag.
“Why did I do it?” she wails. Too late, Eve: You’ve single-handedly brought on the Nazis. Of such preposterous moments are campy musicals made.
elisabeth.vincentelli
@nypost.com