Kyle Smith

Kyle Smith

 Movies

The 8 unnecessary sequels bound for the big screen

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Published March 20, 2014, 1:28 p.m. ET
Unnecessary sequels
The box office had better buckle up because a series of sequels is about to hit the big screen. 20th Century Fox; Open Road Films; Touchstone Pictures; Sony Pictures Animation; Everett Collection

Those who were holding their breath waiting for “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” can finally exhale. This week the sequel was announced, thanks to a generous tax subsidy from the state of Nevada, where filming will take place. Here are some other upcoming sequels that sound completely unnecessary.

‘A Haunted House 2’ (April 18)

The first one, Marlon Wayans’ rip-off of his own “Scary Movie” franchise, didn’t light up the world last year with a $40 million gross (“Scary Movie” grossed $157 million back in 2000, but “Scary Movie 5” bombed last year). So it would be hard to call this a quick grab for money. What money?

‘The Purge: Anarchy’ (July 18)

Remember last year’s Ethan Hawke horror flick “The Purge,” about a future America where murder is legal one night a year? Yeah, neither does anyone else. He’s not in this one.

‘Step Up: All In’ (July 25)

“Step Up,” we owe you for introducing most of us to Channing Tatum. But this kids-gotta-dance franchise needs to take a seat. It’s not like the fourth one left us begging for more.

‘The Expendables 3’ (Aug. 15)

The first one was pretty disposable, as was the second one. But OK, OK, it might be fun to see Mel Gibson playing the bad guy. As an actor, though, how will he ever find deep reserves of nastiness to draw upon?

‘Dolphin Tale 2’ (Sept. 19)

“American Idol’s” Harry Connick Jr. (right) got chummy with his finned pal in the original “Dolphin Tale.”Warner Bros. Pictures/Everett Collection

Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd and Harry Connick Jr. return in another gosh-darn nice movie about saving lovely sea creatures. Suggested twist: This time the dolphin meets StarKist and everybody has it for lunch.

‘Paranormal Activity 5’ (Oct. 24)

This found-footage horror setup is getting pretty stale. The kids who made “Blair Witch” are now driving minivans and looking forward to their next trip to Costco.

‘Night at the Museum 3’ (Dec. 19)

“Museum” alums Ben Stiller and Robin Williams will reunite for Part 3.20th Century Fox/Everett Collection

Ben Stiller is back, and so is Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt. The big new name is “Downton Abbey” star Dan Stevens, as Sir Lancelot. Hey, Dan, for kiddie comedies like this you begged out of playing Matthew Crawley?

‘The Smurfs 3’ (August 2015)

The Smurfs are coming back for Round 3 in 2015.Sony Pictures Animation

The most annoying kid characters this side of Barney just can’t stop smurfing around. Somebody sue the producers for child abuse.

‘Pitch Perfect 2’ (May 2015)

More Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson? Yes please!Peter Iovino

Just kidding. This one’s necessary. The first one was a-ca-mazing. In fact, we can’t wait another year, so put a rush on this one.