By all rights, ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” should be about ready to hang up its high heels and call it a day after nine successful seasons.
The format remains essentially the same. The judges are familiar. The stars — inevitably — include a pro football player, an adorable old timer and one or more reality stars.
But the cast for the upcoming tenth season, which starts Monday, is downright — and uncomfortably — packed with the most notorious, scandal-plagued group of famous types to date.
Who cares about the technicalities of the rise and fall of a waltz when there’s a chance of seeing busty former Playmate Pamela Anderson struggle with her center of gravity?
Will Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco attempt to tweet from the dance floor as he has been known to do on the NFL sidelines?
Will Shannen Doherty, who played a witch of sorts on both “Beverly Hills 90210” and “Charmed,” lash out at veteran judge Len Goodman if he calls her out for poor posture?
And how many cries of child neglect will tabloid-fodder, single-mom-of-eight Kate Gosselin endure before she tells everyone they can eat her hair extensions?
Since the winner of “DWTS,” who is ultimately chosen by viewer call-in votes, usually tends to be the most likeable contestant, what remains to be seen is how this slate of dancing wannabes will go over with viewers when most of the contestants are synonymous with questionable behavior in one way or another.
Will viewers feel sympathy or disdain for foxy ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews, who made headlines when she was unwittingly filmed in the nude through a hotel peephole by a pervy stalker?
Even the handsome but dreadfully dull good guy Jake Pavelka of “The Bachelor” will attract attention for the wrong reasons. If viewers don’t care for dancing, they can keep an eye on how his devoted-but-scandal-wracked fiancée, Vienna Girardi, reacts to watching professional Chelsie Hightower press up against him night after night.
As for the elephant in the room, Anderson and Doherty were both once married to the same man (Rick Solomon) and both had their marriages to him annulled. No awkwardness here.
Nicole Scherzinger, lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls, and professional Derek Hough are already in the lead for the “Are they or aren’t they?” chemistry-overload award, and the competition hasn’t even started yet.
Somewhat less notorious stars include figure skating Olympic gold medalist Evan Lysacek, 80-year-old legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin, soap star Aiden Turner of “All My Children,” and Niecy Nash of the Style Network.
To make it far in this competition, they’re best served by either turning up the charm and charisma or by (gasp) dancing like a pro.