Sex & Relationships

Ask Ashley: Save the best for lasting

I know it’s a common issue, but my boyfriend only lasts, like, 10 minutes and it takes me way longer than that to climax. I enjoy intercourse, so how do we fix this?— Carol, 30

I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s almost impossible for a woman to orgasm in 10 minutes from intercourse alone. It’s normal for men to last between 10 to 15 minutes, so he’s not suffering from premature ejaculation, which is good. It’s just a matter of figuring out what works for you two as a team. And I love and respect that you’re willing to work at fixing this little “problem.” Because it really is just a little problem and it is fixable.

You both need to find and explore your likes and dislikes in the bedroom, and be comfortable discussing them in front of one another. Here are a few things you can try:

First, get creative and determine what it is you need to be stimulated first. You may prefer to orgasm during sex, but since that’s not happening, let’s at least get you something first! Ask him to give you oral sex for a while. Then, after a little break (but when you’re still aroused), start having intercourse. At this point, you should be more ready to climax when he is and if you’re not, I’m sure you know of ways to speed it up (by doing things to yourself).

Another thing you can do is start with intercourse, knowing it’ll likely be 10 minutes the first time. Think of it as a warm-up. Then, repeat the earlier scenario I mentioned, and after he takes care of you, return to intercourse again. At this point, he should be aroused again, but able to last longer because of his earlier release.

Little formulas like these will help solve the issue. In my opinion, there should always be a lot of foreplay, say 25 to 30 minutes of it, then 10 to 15 minutes of sex. That’s a total of 45 minutes. If you can’t orgasm within that time then perhaps you need to start looking more at yourself to figure out what’s keeping you from doing so.

Is it ever acceptable to give or get a number when you are on a date with someone else?— Gary, Windsor Terrace

If you don’t think the date is going to lead to any future dates, then I suppose it’s OK. But make sure you give the date you’re with a fair shot first. Otherwise, it’s like you’re searching for something better when that something better could be sitting right in front of you.

If it’s clear there’s nothing there, then I don’t see anything wrong with making a move on someone else you hit it off with. Finding chemistry with someone is so hard in this city, so why pass up the chance at possibly meeting “the one”?

But if you’re going to do it, please do it discreetly or wait until she gets in the cab to go home. There’s no need for the other woman to know. It’ll just hurt her feelings. I mean, what if this hot guy came walking in and they started talking and exchanged numbers right in front of you? How would you feel? Pretty crappy, I’m sure.

This way, at the end of it all, you’ll still have your dignity, and she’ll respect you for being a stand-up guy even if the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere. Integrity, honor and respect: There are only a few men in this city that still have those qualities. Be one of those guys.

Have a question? E-mail AshleyDupre@nypost.com and follow her on Twitter at @ashleydupre.