Across the pond, they take sports seriously

The Post’s Mike Vaccaro and Marc Berman (above) had a different experience in London this week.

L ONDON — We tend to think we have cornered the market on odd, over-the-top or ornery fan behavior in this country, but the fact is we are barely in the minor leagues compared to the United Kingdom. Which, when you think about it, makes sense, since they do have a thousand-or-so-year head start on us in everything else, so why not this, too?

In my younger and more impressionable days, I wore Mets gear to the Vet in Philadelphia. I wore a Knicks jacket in the Boston Garden. I wore a brown St. Bonaventure sweatshirt into Niagara’s Taps Gallagher Fieldhouse. I won’t confirm this, but in college I may also have painted my face green while attending a Jets-Bills game in Buffalo.

I endured some ribbing. I took a few insults. I may have had a peanut shell or three aimed at my head. I never felt like I was in imminent danger. And, in truth, the real daredevils of sport — Yankees fans wearing pinstriped jerseys into Fenway Park, Sox fans wearing Sox caps in The Bronx, Michigan fans wearing maize-and-blue into Ohio Stadium — probably take a hard time from opening to closing.

And rarely feel like they’re in imminent danger.

That brings us to Wednesday night, a clear, cold night inside Stanford Bridge, the home of the Chelsea football team, on a night when it was hosting Southampton. I am a soccer novice. So is The Post’s Marc Berman, who sat next to me. We have no rooting interests, except that I offered Berman a two-goal spread if he wanted to take the visiting Southamptoners, as ridiculous as that sounds, to see who would pay for that night’s ale.

I bought a blue Chelsea ski hat, not so much to fit in but because I was freezing. Berman opted for a Union Jack hat. And we watched a wonderful match: Chelsea took a 2-0 lead into intermission, and I could taste the room-temperature ale on my tongue already, though Southampton did cut the lead to 2-1 early in the second half.

And then something frightful happened.

Southampton scored the equalizer, on a highlight-quality goal. The thrill of it — it happened right in front of us — and the fact Berman had instantly branded himself the biggest Southampton fan in all of Massapequa, caused a most unfortunate, and unstoppable, reaction:

You’ve seen the old highlight film of Reggie Jackson’s third homer in Game 6 of the ’77 World Series, right? The one where they flash to a swath of upper-deckers all leaping to their feet and trying to touch the night sky with both hands?

Yeah. That was Berman. Celebrating a Southampton goal.

In the midst of the Chelsea rooting section.

And this was the helpful piece of advice immediately offered by one of our neighbors, the moment after Berman’s feet settled back to earth — and I’m paraphrasing here: “If you bloody #$#@#$ do something like #$#@$%^ that again, I will %^$#%^&* knock your bloody %$#$$%% block off, you $#$$%%$.”

“I’m pretty sure he was serious,” Berman said.

“I have no doubt he was,” I said.

Well, if you know anything at all about the Premiership, that means a) you know more than we did; and b) you know there is a specific, segregated entrance for visiting fans, and a separate rooting area, too. And if you think those are mere suggestions … well, they are not.

The game ended 2-2, a big disappointment for Chelsea, a big win for the boys from The Post, as we made it back to the Underground with teeth and jaws intact. Eager for a safer challenge. Like feeding the lions at the London Zoo, perhaps.

Whack Back at Vac

Richard Siegelman: Lance Armstrong’s lies now make Marion Jones almost seem like a truth-teller.

Vac: Let’s be honest — Lance Armstrong makes Pinocchio seem like George Washington.

Wayne Vanyo: First Lance Armstrong, then Manti Te’o … next you will be telling me that I can’t believe Rex Ryan’s promise of the Jets winning the Super Bowl during Obama’s presidential term.

Vac: What Rex didn’t tell you was that he was referring to Malia Obama. Her SECOND term.

@scon06: Did any Brits give Carmelo the old “Cheer-i-o!” while he was over there?

@MikeVacc: I was just glad Rodney Stuckey didn’t clear his throat, lest Melo wait for him by a double-decker bus.

Andy Romanic: I’d like to comment on the Manti Te’o story … oh, wait, I have Jennifer Aniston calling me again … Now what’s wrong … ?!

Vac: I’m not sure we’re ever going to grow tired of this story.

Vac’s Whacks

I’ve Said it before, but it’s as true now as ever: It must be fun being a Patriots fan.

* Did Lance Armstrong really think those couple hours on Oprah’s couch was going to help his cause?

* Listening to excerpts of Sandy from Harvard’s interview with Mike Francesa the other day, it seems Mets fans are alone in their impatience with how this whole recovery process is going, eh?

* I’m pretty sure Tommy Lee Jones got the joke by Tuesday. Wednesday, the latest.