* Two chugs of beer when you see Ma & Pa Harbaugh kissing on-screen.
* Have a taste of your Alabama slammer (a concoction of vodka, sloe gin, Southern Comfort, amaretto and OJ) every time they show Miss Alabama, Katherine Webb.
* Change your Facebook status to “drinking” if Manti Te’o is mentioned.
* Pour one down every time a commercial uses a pair of breasts to sell you beer.
* When an announcer cries out: “Oh, brother!” after a play, toss down a Jell-O shot.
* Quench your thirst when you hear any mention of Ray Lewis’ retiring or deer antler spray, which the linebacker was accused of using to help heal his tricep injury.
* Funnel your beer for the length of each note Alicia Keys overemphasizes during the national anthem.
* Chug your Hurricane each time Eli, Archie or Peyton Manning, the royal family of New Orleans, is name-checked.
* Sip up if Beyoncé sings “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)” — sip twice if she changes the lyrics to “put a Super Bowl ring on it.” Bonus: Shotgun your beer when someone in the room tries to dance along to the “Single Ladies.”
* Take a sip from your crunk cup when the camera pans to Jay-Z cheering his wife.
* Just pretend to drink when Beyoncé’s Inauguration Day “Star-Spangled Banner” is analyzed again.
* Raise your glass for each former Destiny’s Child member not included in the “reunion” during the halftime show.