Put away those boots and grab your flip-flops. For millions of students, it’s time for Spring Break, and all of the sunny debauchery that goes with it.
But first, check out some of the craziest Spring Break confessions from previous years.
Why you never mix red wine, tequila and a nose job
Writer Lesley Arfin says she didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to mingle tequila and red wine, proving that college is pretty much useless when it comes to the important stuff. Let’s let her take it from here: “I got way too drunk way too early in the evening and ran into a girl I knew from another high school that I hadn’t seen in years. She’d had a nose job and her face looked so radically different that I puked all over her.” Hey, talk about blaming the victim!
The Hangover, the Rough Draft
At a friend’s 21st birthday, the last thing Blaine, 23, remembers is having three drinks in rapid succession. He woke up under a naked blue sky and soon discovered he was on top of a six-story building a mile or two from the last bar he remembered. “Halfway home I realized I only had one shoe on and was covered with those prickly things that stick to you after crawling though the bushes. The events of that night will forever be a mystery to me.”
Dolphin Tale
Rich, 22, recalls taking a ride around the pool in Mexico by holding onto a dolphin’s fin. Everything was going fine until the dolphin suddenly jolted forward and Rich slipped right out of his board shorts. ”I was silently wishing I had worn underwear that day,” he said. Hey, dolphins swim nude, so no biggie.
Undies Should Be Kept On
A college girl approached a Fort Lauderdale bartender at an establishment that displays ladies’ undergarments in the rafters and said, “Oh my God! You take bras and panties from different girls and hang them up? Can I give you mine?” When the barkeep said okay, she had no problem taking her bra off and handing it over, but ran into problems removing her panties, which got stuck on one of her stilettos. She wound up awkwardly propping one leg on the bar as her fellow patrons got to see more of her than they were expecting.
The Steamiest Hot Tub
Matthew, a studious University of Michigan collegian, spent spring break at his grandparents’ ranch house in Arizona, hoping to catch some rays with his best friend Jason during the day and watch movies at night. The grandparents were chill housemates, because they went to bed early. Except for the one night when Jason and Matthew went out to relax in the hot tub, and discovered Matthew’s grandparents were already in it. Naked.
Keeping an Eye on Your Purse Isn’t Enough
Emerson College student Cassidy had her phone stolen out of her purse on her first day in Vegas. Day two, she got smart, and kept her purse tightly secured to her shoulder. “All of a sudden, I realized that my purse weighed absolutely nothing. My ID, money, credit cards, passport — it was all gone.” Luckily, she immediately cancelled her credit card, which was handy because the thief spent $300 at Walgreens and also treated himself to a meal at The Olive Garden.
How to Win a Wet T-Shirt Contest
Carrie got plastered and entered a wet T-shirt contest, but doesn’t remember what happened after that. Lucky for her, her friends clued her in: She won the contest by stripping naked, then wound up losing her clothes, which is why she woke up starkers on the floor of her condo the next morning. Oh, and there was a naked cab ride in there too.
Top This
Emily’s favorite water park ride used to be a slide that shoots you out into the pool like a cannonball. “I had gone on it a million times,” she remembered. This time, though, her bikini top was collateral damage as she flew into the pool. “I grabbed it and got it back on as I got out of the pool,” she said, “but it was still pretty embarrassing walking past the giggling lifeguard.”
Leave Mom Home
Beth Brennan says her mother took her and her underage sister to Cancún for an all-inclusive spring break, fought to get the little sister into bars and then sneaked her drinks. Even in Mexico, this was pushing things too far and hotel security came down on the family like a ton of empty Jose Cuervo bottles. “Security had to threaten to kick us out of the hotel and contact the local authorities,” said Brennan. “I mean, my mom’s a badass, but even she wasn’t down for Mexican prison.”