TV

‘We Are Men’ has some growing up to do

“We Are Men” evidently fancies itself some sort of modern twist on 1967’s “The Graduate,” but why, oh, why, if you’re the people behind this television series would you pay such overt homage to a far superior product? Instead of the audience nodding knowingly along, the reaction is likely to be, “Hey, you know what we should be doing instead of wasting our time with this show? Re-watching ‘The Graduate.’”

The “We Are Men” pilot, airing Monday night, begins as the classic movie ends, with an interrupted wedding. Only it’s the jilted groom Carter (Chris Smith), who’s the focus of the story.

After getting dumped, he moves into a short-stay apartment complex and quickly buddies up with three other divorcees. We’ve got one word about the characters, to borrow another line from “The Graduate,” just one word: plastic.

Jerry O’Connell plays a four-times divorced OB/Gyn who, for some reason, has his shirt off in nearly every scene, including one in which he’s eating fast food in a car.

Tony Shalhoub is a middle-aged letch with a thing for young Asian chicks, and Kal Penn is a sensitive single who gets made fun of because he can’t bed every woman he comes across.

Cue a cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson.”

“We Are Men” makes another serious miscalculation by assuming that life in a dreary LA apartment complex, where the only amenities are a cloudy pool and outdated vertical blinds, is preferable to being married. In the show’s worldview, all women are controlling shrews who torture their men by making them go to farmer’s markets and crush their dreams of becoming a basketball coach. We all know that’s only that witch Kim Kardashian.

Better to be free of women’s evil clutches, so you can eat endless Whoppers and have one-night stand with females you pick up at the bar. Unless the conquests are over the age of 25, of course.

“You’re not going home with Mrs. Robinson-san,” O’Connell’s character reprimands Carter after he chats up a middle-aged Asian lady.

Shame “We Are Men” is so off-putting, because the cast is generally likeable, especially Penn. Here’s hoping they Graduate into something better.