WHERE in the name of Rusty Hardin do accused athletes find their lawyers?
Atlanta-based attorney David Cornwell, in a prepared statement, this week, had this to say about the sexual assault claim filed late last week against his client, Steelers’ quarterback Ben Roethlisberger:
“This weekend Andrea McNulty served Ben Roethlisberger with a civil complaint accusing him of sexually assaulting her in July, 2008. Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone, especially Andrea McNulty.”
How’s that for an opening defense? It was like, “My client has never robbed any gas station at gunpoint, especially the Sunoco up on Route 9 in Meadville.”
Brings to mind the late, noted lawyer Johnnie Cochran who, in an HBO “Real Sports” profile, boasted that he’s not merely a good attorney, he’s a successful counselor to clients in need of guidance. As an example, Cochran said, “Look what I did for Tupac Shakur.”
At the time Shakur, hardcore gangsta rapper, was several years dead, having been fatally shot in a Las Vegas drive-by. He was 25.
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Twenty years in, Joe Morgan‘s ability to drown a game in a relentless stream of authoritative nonsense remains remarkable. Here’s a Sunday sampler from the early innings of Mets-Braves (getting past the fourth inning of ESPN’s Sunday telecasts seems more like punishment than pleasure): On Atlanta starter Javier Vazquez: “A lot of guys say that if you can stay close to him, you can beat him. That has been his downfall. If you stay close in the later innings, you can beat him.”
A lot of guys? Why not every guy? All pitchers, if the opponent stays close, are beatable. The flipside of Morgan’s tout would be that Vazquez, if given a big lead, becomes more difficult to beat. A bit later, the Braves’ Martin Prado, not particularly fast, hit into a double play, second to short to first. But not even the self-evident can escape Morgan Baloney drenched in Morgan Baloney Sauce:
“Good job by [Mets pitcher Tim] Redding to get the ground ball. You always want the ground ball near the bag for a cinch double play because that way you have a short throw to go along with the long throw back to first. Two long throws makes it very difficult to complete the double play with a speedy runner like Escobar.”
True, but Yunel Escobar was on the bench. Prado was the batter who was running to first. Still, point well taken: Easy double plays are easier than the more difficult ones. So, to make double plays as easy as possible, the shortstop and/or second baseman always should stand close to second, then have the pitcher throw a pitch that makes the batter hit a ground ball right at them. It’s elementary.
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Because the widows of Bobby Murcer, Catfish Hunter and Thurman Munson were in Yankee Stadium for Old-Timers’ Day on Sunday, professional creep Craig Carton attached them to a cheap, crude crotch gag that wasn’t funny 30 years ago, when it was fresh. And now, like most pigs that get smacked on the snout, Carton can squeal.
1050 ESPN’s after-dusk signal, recently switched to a 50,000-watt AM transmitter with less structural interference in its immediate path, has, at long last, improved the station’s nighttime reach. Not perfect, but better. . . . Islanders have dismissed longtime radio analyst Chris King and play-by-player Steve Mears. To cut costs, the Islanders will simulcast the Howie Rose/Billy Jaffe TV calls.
If you caught Sunday’s ESPY awards show — for a 17th straight year the theme in large part was “Stay tuned for even more hot babes!” — you surely would think that the ESPN that annually produces and televises such a show and the ESPN that’s horrified by the sexual objectification of sports reporter Erin Andrews are two entirely different ESPNs.
Keith Hernandez is too good an analyst to waste his time and ours with forced, fill-space blab, something he does when he’s half of a two-man booth. On TV, there’s nothing wrong with silence instead of, “K-Rod has a very, very excellent changeup and breaking ball.” . . . And as long as Mariano Rivera appears 60, 70 times per, and as long as we know that Rivera, among specialists, is special — and has been for a dozen years — can’t Michael Kay occasionally spare us his sure-fire Hall of Famer speech?
Good stuff from Channel 2 sports anchor Samantha Ryan yesterday evening, noting that the catcher in Mark Buehrle‘s perfect game earlier in the day was ex-Met Ramon Castro.