Happy holidays — just not that happy.
Porn use plummets on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and likewise drops during major sporting and news events, according to a revealing new study by PornHub, which bills itself as the world’s biggest adult content site.
Last Thanksgiving, traffic on the XXX site went down 29 percent in the US, and 22 percent on average worldwide, the Web site reported Friday.
But on Black Friday, traffic rose again by 7 percent, proving that Americans had literally roused themselves from their food-induced lethargies, rushing not only to the malls, but to their computer terminals and, er, handhelds.
Traffic also flags during major news events, the site reported.
Nothing like a sumptuous royal wedding with all the trappings to put folks out of the mood.
When Kate and Wills tied the knot, UK porn viewing dropped 15 percent, then spiked back for the rest of the day. The Pippa factor perhaps?
And on the day Osama bin Laden was killed, there were 7 percent fewer visits from US users, who apparently chose more public means of celebrating.
“The stats show that people pull themselves away from their favorite Web site just long enough to watch things like the Olympics, the World Series, presidential elections, etc.,” PornHub noted in announcing its findings.
Unsurprisingly, religious holidays appear to have a reliable libido-limiting effect.
Nice, not naughty, ruled the day on Christmas Eve, with porn clicking rates dropping worldwide by 22 percent.
Israeli porn viewing sagged 40 percent on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
Americans were apparently too busy with analog fireworks to seek out digital ones last Independence Day, when porn viewing fell 27 percent.
And New Year’s Eve was porn-lite around the globe — with a 34 percent drop in the Web site’s use in the US, and even higher drops elsewhere in the world.
Then there was Earth Day, when porn use showed a carbon-neutral change of 0 percent.
Sports are a sure-fire way to turn off computers and libidos.
As the Giants and Patriots sparred in the 2012 Super Bowl, US porn viewing dropped 22 percent. New York’s traffic dropped 31 percent; Boston’s by 41 percent.
On the day the Mayan calendar purportedly predicted the end of the world last year, a 10 percent spike in US use “showed that Americans wanted to stay in the comfort of their own homes, on a solo mission to have sex with someone they loved,” the site said.