Phil Mushnick

Phil Mushnick

Sports

Sports can’t stop the stupid

Drugs, Inc., ink: We trust that during Let’s Be Honest Francesa’s next pillow talk with Alex Rodriguez, he asks why Rodriquez’s quotation-marked, legal team-issued statements read and sound more like Thomas Jefferson than, well, Alex Rodriguez.

Especially given Rodriguez’s past disregard for drug truths, might they be phonied-up statements, quotations of words he never said, thoughts he never thought?

And given Honest Mike has, for some crazy reason, a hot line to Rodriguez, he could ask if anyone were really expected to believe his previous statement, the one about how his struggle with MLB is as much about protecting future, wrongly accused young players as it is about him (read: preserving tens of millions in his right-now salary).

At any rate, Yankees president Randy Levine immediately announced the $25 million in savings will be applied to reduce ticket prices, parking and food and drink costs. To be clear, that’s a joke.

Next, out to Colorado, where the legalization of marijuana raises legal issues, as noted by Denver sports attorney Rocky Mountain Hy.

Will MLB, NBA, NFL and NHL players who smoke pot be driven — often, literally — to never miss a trip to Colorado so that if marijuana, inhaled anywhere, shows up in their systems, they can claim they legally smoked legal stuff in Colorado, thus no misdemeanor, no foul?

Will the University of Colorado and Colorado State have good-stuff recruiting advantages?

Will our big leagues get on board the “Cut-Me-In Train,” selling team-logo pipes, bongs, rolling papers, roach clips and single-hitters? Hey, recall how our sports once were anti-gambling?

Colorado’s teams soon will disallow patrons from bringing/rolling their own. They’ll be forced to buy team pot. The Rockies are working on a blend, tentatively titled, “Buds Selig.”

What’s that? … Nah, it’ll be a rip-off; mostly sticks and seeds.

Sensibility suffers as flags fly

Gets worse every year. The NFL playoffs now resemble surveillance footage from prison-gang riots. Good games have become tough to indulge, let alone enjoy.

Niners-Panthers on Sunday, which should have been X-rated for post-play violence and other stomach-turning incivilities, was explained/excused by Fox’s Troy Aikman as, “There’s a lot at stake.”

Exactly. So why did so many — college men — risk 15-yard penalties?

Joe Buck later spoke of Seattle as the Niners’ “rival — heated rival.” Heated? It gets worse?

More playoffs: Football fans fortunate enough to have tuned in to Fox’s Saints-Seahawks football telecast, were rewarded with analyst John Lynch’s — he’s a former football player — relentless reminders we were watching a football game, played with, yep, a football.

For hollering out loud: “Catch the football,” “an outstanding football play,” “a tremendous football player,” “not a great football play,” “an outstanding young football player.”

Lynch began to stack ’em: “I love great football players and he is a great football player. Watch [Seattle’s] Earl Thomas close in on that football.”

Late, after Saints coach Sean Payton had a desperate replay challenge denied, Lynch got it: “He had to take a shot. Ya can’t leave replays in your pocket.”

Yet, during the regular season, Lynch flatly noted coaches’ replay rule success rates, making no distinctions, as if all challenges are the same and based only on a conviction that the call was bad.

And Lynch is another who can’t say a receiver “was open;” he “was in space.” One of these days, Alice!

Dan Dierdorf, on CBS’ Colts-Patriots, gave himself a rough curtain-close when he jumped to the absurd conclusion the Pats, after a bad snap to their punter, would have been far better off giving the Colts the ball at the 2-yard line rather than giving them a safety. Huh?

And then Dierdorf continued trying to sell us on that theory, as if we knew — and he knew — he was stuck spinning his tires in his own nonsense.

Besides, the entire play was both quick and accidental; its strategic-thought elements were nonexistent.

Down the stretch CBS missed — or ignored — standout stuff. Early in the fourth, after Julian Edelman ran a punt out of bounds, he quickly and angrily pursued his Colts pursuer. What was that about? Dunno; CBS already had its mind made up to show a highlights package.

Minutes later, something stunning to see was lost to chit-chat. Garth DeFelice, 16-year veteran ump, seemed fed up with all the post-play street-hassle garbage. He got into Pats RB LeGarrette Blount’s facemask and began to give him hell, then some more hell, and then some more, until Blount headed for the sideline.

It was worth more attention than none.

Now you see it, now you … still see it

Dolanvision: So MSG loses the transmission of Saturday’s Knicks-Sixers. OK, it happens. But we hear from the studio what we’re now watching live is Philly’s feed, which will appear until MSG’s is fixed. Cool.

But then here comes a scrolling graphic: “Due to technical difficulties, Knicks-Sixers cannot be seen at this time.”

The graphic continues, non-stop. Meanwhile, what MSG repeatedly claims we can’t see is exactly what we’re watching.


Channel 7 News sent a reporter to stand outside Yankee Stadium — in the rain — to report the Alex Rodriguez verdict.


Mike Francesa has the unflagging capacity to remind all he’s a Grade-A misanthrope. Of Andrew Luck Friday: “He is an ugly guy.” For which role does Francesa suppose he’d be chosen, the “Before” model or the “After”?


Readers: Mike Ganis, Houston, Texas, notes in Friday’s nicknames-on-jerseys Heat vs. Nets, Mario Chalmers couldn’t wear “Super Mario” due to copyright concerns. Ganis: “I guess LeBron James made a deal with the New Testament folks to wear ‘King James.’ ” Reader H. H. Blaukopf reasons J.R. Smith would have worn “Tyrone Shoelaces.”


Villanova-St. John’s on FS1, then Kentucky-Vandy on CBS. Gus Johnson followed by Kevin Harlan, two who figure if they holler enough, we’ll watch the game we’re already watching. (Network execs agree with them!)


Seton Hall basketball hasn’t had enough issues with law enforcement, so Saturday on MSG2 it wore its bad-boy black uniforms. (School colors: blue and white.)


Last questions: 1) When did TV blowhards realize pro athletes are “athletes” who “make athletic plays”? 2) Think Pats ticket-holders know some NFL games still begin in daylight? 3) Which showboating quarterback is tougher to root for, Colin Kaepernick or Cam Newton?