Sports

New Orleans pins blame on commish voodoo doll

Saints fans fuming over Bountygate punishment are snapping up this Roger Goodell voodoo doll.

Saints fans fuming over Bountygate punishment are snapping up this Roger Goodell voodoo doll. (
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Saints fans fuming over Bountygate punishment are snapping up this Roger Goodell voodoo doll. (
)

NEW ORLEANS — The eureka moment hit Robert Wilson, recently retired from the Army, as he and his girlfriend Stephanie Ferrand left the Gretna Heritage Festival in September. The Saints had just lost their fourth consecutive game to start the season, falling 28-27 to the Packers, and a team once thought capable of becoming the first to play in a Super Bowl in its home stadium was essentially dead, dead, dead.

Its head coach, Sean Payton, was in exile, courtesy of an unprecedented one-year suspension imposed by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in the wake of the Bountygate scandal.

On the way to his car, Wilson saw a local vendor selling voodoo dolls out of a booth.

“Somebody should make one of those of Roger Goodell,” Wilson remarked offhandedly to his girlfriend.

“Why don’t you do it?” she shot back.

The rest is Singer sewing machine history. In the past several months, Wilson’s 10-inch voodoo dolls with a likeness of Goodell and five handy stick pins — each with a fleur-de-lis and bearing the name of a Saints coach, executive or player caught up in Bountygate — have been selling faster than snow cones in August.

Wilson figures the project he started as a lark to provide Christmas stocking stuffers for frustrated family and friends has been transformed into a going concern, with sales approaching 3,000 at $15.99 apiece — each one handmade and crafted with Who Dat love.

His needlework business has exploded. Wilson is providing nearly 600 of the dolls — a smaller 6-inch version — to one group of Mardi Gras float riders in the satiric Krewe of Muses, which will parade four days after the Super Bowl.

“I don’t go to bed,” Wilson said with a laugh. “I was going to school, but I took the semester off to make dolls, if you can believe it. My girlfriend and I work on the dolls together nonstop, but she’s got a full-time job. I don’t go to bed before 4 a.m. My mom gave me some sewing tips. This is basically every mother’s dream come true. Her son comes to her and says, ‘Mommy, help me make dolls.’ ”

Wilson plunked down $100 for a new sewing machine, hoping he might be able to get his money back. He will. For Christmas, while his siblings got gift cards to local restaurants from his mother, he got one for Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Store.

“We can’t make enough to meet the demand,” Wilson said. “It’s just fun.”

On a purely intellectual basis, Wilson said he can understand why Goodell did what he did. Banishing Payton for a year — the coach was reinstated yesterday — and suspending other coaches and players for extended periods would lay the groundwork in future concussion lawsuits that the NFL was serious about protecting players from brain injury. So Goodell threw the Saints under the Mercedes-Benz Superdome a la Jimmy Hoffa, who may be buried in cement shoulder pads under the old Giants Stadium.

“The real reason is blatantly obvious,” Wilson said. “It was to get out ahead of the concussion lawsuits. There’s a lot of traumatic brain injury, and, believe me, that’s very important to me being a soldier. Many of those veterans are experiencing the same thing.

“But I also know it was just very easy to make an example of a small market. This wouldn’t have happened in New England. My take on this is that the main reason Sean Payton is so successful — and the Saints follow his lead — is his hubris and his arrogance. That’s what makes him a successful coach. But he thumbed his nose at the league.”

Wilson said he hopes the voodoo dolls will allow Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Who Dat to channel their frustration in a fun way, and he stressed he does not wish any ill will toward Goodell when he arrives in New Orleans for Super Bowl XLVII between the 49ers and Ravens.

“The NFL is not really known for its sense of humor,” Wilson said. “But this is something we view as innocent and as a way to blow off steam. I don’t want anybody spitting in his food or cursing or yelling at him and all that nonsense. We just thought this would be a nice outlet for people. It’s been cathartic for us to make them.”

Joy Lampard, a member of the Krewe of Muses, said the Goodell dolls may be one of the most cherished “throws” in Mardi Gras history. She said krewe members discovered Wilson’s craft business while brainstorming for a theme at their regular “thirsty Thursday” gatherings.

“Goodell’s name and voodoo dolls came up, and I said, ‘Let’s Google it. There’s got to be somebody out there doing something,’ ” Lampard said. “Wine and cheese and an iPad and couple of crazy women who are diehard Saints fans — put them all together and you’ve got something.”

Another diehard, David Bergeron, owner of The Creole Creamery on Prytania Street, has posted a picture of Goodell behind the ice cream counter of his shop with the following caption: “Do Not Serve This Man.”

Would Bergeron really refuse service to the commissioner?

“If he would like to appeal my decision, I would be happy to review it after the Super Bowl,” Bergeron said. “But understand this — I make the rules.”