Sports

Hondo’s three-for-all

It’s always good to get that first bludgeoning out of the way. Hondo went draino last night with the Rangers, who were pummeled by the lowly ’Stros to put the Day 1 deficit at 80 lemongellos.

Today, since the Fish will be swimming upstream all season, he will back Strasburg and the Nats with 10 units. Also, you can’t bet against Jon Niese when his wife is wearing her lucky blue skivvies, so Mr. Aitch will put another 10 on the Metamucils. As they say in Nigeria: Goodluck Jonathon. And finally, not even that most optimistic of Yankee fans, Rosie Scenario, sees any hope for the aged and injured Yankees — 10 on the Sawx to coldcock CC.

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Public Service Announcement for those with no life whatsoever: The Museum of Modern Art has an exhibit called “The Maybe” that features actress Tilda Swinton sleeping in a glass box. It should be called “The Definitely” because most people definitely wouldn’t pay to watch her take a nap … Rihanna and Chris “Slap ’Em Around” Brown have called it quits. Lucky for her she beat him to the punch this time … Big news out of D.C.: the Obamas attended church services. It figures the “CEO” of the country also would be a religious CEO — Christmas and Easter Only.

hondo@nypost.com