Sports

CBS’ Simms lets Colts coach off hook

How nice is Phil Simms? Very nice, sometimes too nice.

Yesterday on CBS, he politely, quietly watched with us as Colts head coach Jim Caldwell tried to remove the late season initiative from his team. For the second time in a month. At home. Against the Jets.

How could he not have the Colts try to score a TD on fourth-and-goal from the one, trailing 7-3 in the second quarter? Why stay down when you can take the lead? What’s the downside? Jets take over 99 yards out?

And why, the play before, did Peyton Manning, on third and goal from the one, go no-huddle, when even a timeout made more sense? What was the point? Where was the coach?

On consecutive plays there were, minimally, decision-making curiosities, both of which were prelude to the Jets taking a 14-6 lead, then 17-6.

We needed Simms to at least holler, “What the heck!?” or, better yet, tell/remind viewers that Caldwell’s previous lack of initiative against the Jets played a big role in why they got in as a wild card, and why, four weeks later, they were back — and making the No. 1 seed’s life miserable.

* Prevent offense: Is going to a hurry-up that’s intended to waste a first down, but prevent an opponent from throwing a challenge flag — as Mark Sanchez did in the first quarter after a tight sideline catch — what the NFL had in mind for its replay rule? Is trying to circumvent a rule designed to “get it right” getting it right? Or does it further shove the game toward farce?

* You can tell that Jim Nantz and Phil Simms are comfortable with each other because their funny moments are never forced. After Simms busted Nantz’s chops about an upcoming appearance in a CBS sitcom, Nantz said, “I want everyone to see it but you.” Nantz never before had a straight man.

* CBS made a very clean telecast of Jets-Colts, strong replays and only a couple of mindless graphics.

Plenty of time to make some points

AT 8 a.m., sports radio should have the time and aggressive inclination to report significant details about local teams’ games, the night before. They should.

On WFAN, Saturday morning, Mia Harris, in consecutive updates, told us that Zach Parise scored for the Devils in Jersey’s home loss to Montreal. But the know-better info that ex-Ranger/ex-Devil Scott Gomez assisted on the tying goal and ex-Devil Brian Gionta assisted on the go-ahead — didn’t make the cut.

On 1050 ESPN, it was worse. In successive updates, Ryan Ruocco so quickly gave the Devils’ score — and not a word beyond — he sounded as if he were reading a disclaimer at the end of a car ad.

* ESPN yesterday had “Jersey” Kelly Kulick, women’s PBA champ, against the men, and not just for kicks, but in the PBA’s T of C final. She hammered Chris Barnes (among the best), 265-195, to become the first woman to win any PBA men’s title — and she did it in a major.

* Billy Andrade’s debut as a Golf Channel analyst made for some, well, moments. Of Garrett Willis, he said, “He amazes me, a little bit.” Later, leaning on an old TV time-filler, Andrade asked Judy Rankin what kind of lie Vaughn Taylor had. “Well, perfect,” she said, “he had it in his hand.”

He’d forgotten that conditions made for lift, clean, place.

Week for the weak

There’s no better time to listen to sports radio than that full week before a big NFL game played by a local team. Abbott & Costello meets Null & Void. Call it in the air!

When hosts, guests and callers try to “break down” the game, team vs. team, what they mostly produce is a tower of freezer-case lunch meats, “keys” that not only apply to both teams, but to every team and every game since Pop Warner was known as Junior.

On ESPN 1050 on Saturday, host Seth Everett, who sounds like a nice fellow, was convinced that the keys to Jets victory was for their defense to put Peyton Manning into third-and-longs, while on offense Mark Sanchez faced no worse than third-and-short.

Why those keys would be peculiar to the Jets — as opposed to every team — I’m not sure.

Then came the bromides: The Jets must keep Peyton Manning off the field. OK. But has there ever been a game plan entitled “Let’s Try To Keep Their QB On The Field”?

OK, besides for Joe Pisarcik.

PEDs: Pays Every Day

Is there life on another planet? Absolutely! The one on which pro sports live.

New Met Gary Matthews Jr., 35, during his first seven years in the bigs, was a man of very modest offensive skills, a good defensive platoon outfielder who’d changed teams six times. Then, presto, change-o! — .313, 19 HRs. The Angels signed him to a five-year, $50 million (!) deal.

Matthews soon reverted to his norm — after showing up on a juice list.

So, then, this question: If so, why not? If PEDs, even used before/during just one season, could mean $50 million and no punishment beyond suspicion and vague health risks, why not? Money, always follow the money.