Entertainment

Nothing royal in this flush

For a movie called “Monte Carlo,” this one keeps the stakes pretty low. Earnest and predictable, it’s the cinematic equivalent of a pop hit by star Selena Gomez’s boyfriend, Justin Bieber.

Disney Channel star Gomez plays dual roles here — primarily, she’s Grace Bennett, a middle-class Texan who’s been saving up her waitressing tips to visit Paris after high school graduation with her best friend Emma (Katie Cassidy) and Grace’s uptight stepsister Meg (Leighton Meester, playing a declawed version of her “Gossip Girl” character).

Their guided tour of France turns out to be a snooze, so the three sneak into a luxury hotel, where they catch sight of Cordelia Winthrop Scott (also Gomez), an icy European heiress who’s a ringer for Grace. When they overhear the spoiled socialite scheming to ditch her hotel suite and her trip to Monaco to host a charity auction, a plan is hatched. Grace will pretend to be Cordelia — because, really, what are the odds the real heiress will show up in Monte Carlo?

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Naturally, stacks of designer luggage crammed with ball gowns, makeup and eye-popping jewels “borrowed” from Cordelia yield a full-fledged princess fantasy for the small-town trio. Gomez puts on a vaguely British affect and tries to seem slightly less adorable for the heiress’ suspicious aunt (the reliably fun Catherine Tate).

In a film where people say things like “Well, if you change your mind, the train leaves at noon,” there’s not much doubt a race-against-the-clock chase through Monaco’s colorful streets will ensue — at noon. Or that Grace will fall for a charming young aristocrat (Pierre Boulanger), who’s delighted that “Cordelia” turned out to be beaucoup nicer than in the tabloids.

Equally nonsuspenseful is the question of whether Emma will learn to appreciate her good-hearted lunk of a boyfriend at home (Corey Monteith of “Glee,” with dirt under his fingernails) after playing pretend among rich snobs who are mean to waitresses, or whether Meg will let her hair down after she meets a Paul Hogan-lite Australian backpacker (Luke Bracey).

In spite of its ham-handed plotting, there’s something likably retro about a film in which the harshest curse someone can muster is “shoot,” and the worst behavior is Cordelia failing to tip the bellhop. Gomez and company seem straight out of one of the old Disney mistaken-identity films. With all the so-so accents on display here, you almost expect them all to start talking like Hayley Mills.

“Monte Carlo” also boasts a supporting cast of authentic, mugging Frenchmen — busboys, chauffeurs and policemen — who look as if they’d expected to wind up in a better-quality farce. But director Thomas Bezucha (“The Family Stone”) is too timid to let the high jinks rise to the level of Jerry Lewis wackiness. At one point, Meester leans against a row of parked mopeds and knocks over . . . two of them. Why not the whole lot?