Post columnist Steve Serby chased down Giants running back Andre Brown for some Q&A.
Q: My sources tell me you fancy yourself as a comedian, is that true?
A: I’ve been known to tell a terrible joke every now and then.
Q: I know, I’ve read your tweets.
A: (Laugh).
Q: What’s your all-time favorite joke?
A: My go-to joke?
Q: Yeah, what’s your go-to joke?
A: All right (laugh). What did Jay Z call his girlfriend before he got married? Feyonce! (Laugh).
Q: Let me ask you something: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be called the baygulls! (Laugh). Zing! Zing!
Q: Do you tell these jokes to your teammates?
A: Yeah. Vic [Cruz] found the Beyonce one funny. Jerry [Palmieri], our strength coach, he hates all my jokes.
Q: Other than Vic liking that one joke?
A: Everybody else doesn’t laugh at ’em. But I think that’s good comedy right there. I’m a comedian, man … in the working.
Q: Do they ask you not to tell these jokes?
A: Yeah, they ask me not to tell ’em, but I’ve gotta tell ’em.
Q: Where do you come up with them?
A: I just sit there and start thinking of dumb stuff to say. You know I’ve run ’em by [my] girl, and she’d be like, “Baby, don’t … don’t … don’t … don’t …” See, it’s all about the delivery of the joke to get people to laugh, that’s all it’s about. So if I set you up, and then I bust out laughing, you were like, ah that’s so terrible that you had to laugh ’cause of my reaction from it.
Q: Because of your reaction to your own joke?
A: Yeah. You’ll be like, “Ah, that’s ridiculous.” You want to crack a smile at least.
Q: Do you aspire some day to be a stand-up comedian?
A: No. My people actually asked me, “Did I want to do it?” ’cause I was running dumb jokes by ’em, and they actually called Caroline’s, and I was like, “Hell no. I’m too scared for that” (chuckle). If I can’t get the guys in the locker room to laugh, it’s not gonna happen.
Q: Well maybe you need a different audience.
A: You know what? That might be true. But I ain’t got the moxie … to go up there and do it (chuckle).
Q: But I see you doing the Electric Slide by the bench during games.
A: That’s just all good fun. Everybody says I’m an attention guy, but I’m really not. I’m just having fun. That camera was there to actually catch me in that moment.
Q: But you like to sing also, right?
A: Yeah. … How’d you find all this stuff out? (Chuckle). ’Cause E. [Eli Manning] is my locker room mate, he hates my singing. I tell [offensive coordinator Kevin] Gilbride I’m the modern-day Frank Sinatra, and he was like, “Who tells you that, your mom?” I think I have a voice, and some people don’t.
Q: You never sang in a choir or anything, did you?
A: Never in a choir, just always in the bathroom to myself, and then I finally got confident enough where I can walk around singing a note, and they’ll be like, “What are you doing?”
Q: Give me one more favorite joke.
A: Favorite joke … all right …
Q: By the way, did you ever run any of these jokes by Coach Coughlin.
A: No. I haven’t even done it by Gilbride yet. Coach Gerald [Ingram, running backs] I have, ’cause he was like, “Dre, give me a joke.”
Q: Which joke did you give him?
A: I gave him … a mushroom walks into a bar — but you probably already heard that, that’s old.
Q: Which one?
A: A mushroom walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “We don’t like your kind around here,” and he says, “Why?” — “Because you’re a fun guy.”
Q: (Laugh).
A: Ahhhhhh, he got that one! Zing!
Q: Did Coach Ingram like that one?
A: No, they actually booed me out of the room, so … I think that’s gonna be my niche. It’s gonna be like, “Yo, your joke’s so terrible, that we have to laugh.” Right?
Q: I was looking over your Twitter feed — those are some of the corniest jokes I’ve ever seen.
A: Exactly! It was Terrible Joke Tuesday, right? And I’m gonna tell terrible jokes, and everybody else started to get involved!
Q: What do you mean Terrible Joke Tuesday?
A: I just started that, Terrible Joke Tuesday. I just started that last week. #TerribleJokeTuesday.
Q: What inspired you to do that?
A: Well, actually, I was sitting there one morning, and I said a joke, and then one of my followers was like, “What is it? #TerribleJokeTuesday?” I said, “Ohhh, I’m runnin’ with it!” And I ran with it, and it was like a bunch of people just tellin’ terrible jokes.
Q: Sometimes you just find a joke somewhere, right?
A: Some I hear, and then I add my twist. If it’s more original, I take ownership in that.
Q: But you tweet it immediately, right?
A: Yeah, ’cause it was boom! Spontaneous. And I have to give it out to the people. Gotta give the people what they want, baby!
Q: Some of your more serious tweets — give me quick answers to these: “Whatever brings you down will eventually make you stronger.”
A: That’s the story of my life, you know, injuries, and fighting back. I have to go out there and continue to be strong, and look how far we came.
Q: “Don’t make excuses, make improvements.”
A: Yeah. Excuses are like a–holes, everybody has one. You gotta go out there and make improvements.
Q: “My pursuit of perfection leaves me without satisfaction.”
A: I always want to be perfect, but you’re never gonna achieve perfect, so you might as well pursue it and make sure that you’re damn near close to it.
Q: “Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.”
A: Yeah. Sometimes I’m loud and I’m singin’ and I’m having a good time, but if you’re confident in your abilities, you don’t need to say too much. It’s like, “Don’t talk about it, be about it,” almost.
Q: “Adversity introduces a man to himself.”
A: Me having a son, making sure that when I’m out there, and I can give him examples of what I went through, and how I came through it and how I came out on top of it, I can give him better enlightenment in his life.
Q: “Don’t wait for an opportunity, create an opportunity.”
A: When opportunity knocks, kick the door down.
Q: “Count your blessings instead of your problems.”
A: You gotta always look at what’s going on in your life. Look at the positive. If you make an excuse, if you’re complaining about stuff — I don’t have this, I don’t have that — you gotta look at what you do have. I do have a wonderful family. I do have a healthy son. My girlfriend and me, we’re about to get married, we’re about to have a wonderful family, and my family loves me. … There’s always something to always be positive about and look forward to.
Q: “Climb the mountain so you can see the world.”
A: Yeah. That’s all about trials. You put yourself through all this hard work, and eventually when you continue to keep working, and when you’re done working, and say I’m retired and I looked at the bottom of the mountain, like, “Look what I’ve been through and now look [how] I’ve succeeded,” and let’s just enjoy the sunrise, let’s enjoy looking over the canyon, let’s go and just look for better things in life.
Q: “Doubt your doubters before you doubt yourself.”
A: That was a long time ago. I thought of that when I got cut. That’s why I stopped following most of you guys [media] because — I’m being honest — they say Dre wasn’t gonna make the team, and I was like, you gotta be really confident in yourself and your abilities and know what you’re capable of doing, because if you’re not, and you’re gonna go out there and you’re gonna play ball and you’re second-guessing yourself, you can’t be that way out here playing this man’s sport. So I doubt everybody else before I’ll doubt myself.
Q: You have a Harry Truman quote: “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.”
A: It’s always team first. It’s no Andre Brown wins a Super Bowl, it’s not gonna be that. It’s gonna be a Giants Super Bowl. It’s not tennis, it’s not golf, it’s not about me, it’s about we.
Q: Where did you get that quote?
A: Coach Coughlin.
Q: How many of Coach Coughlin’s quotes do you abide by?
A: My favorite one is: “I’m a soldier. I fight where I’m told and I win where I fight.” And I really believe that, because of what I’ve been through. If you’re trying to win, you’re gonna have to kill me, and I’m a hard man to kill.
Q: “Don’t accept good when great is available.”
A: Don’t be mediocre. I’ll never forget it [Week 3, 2012], first Carolina start, E. was like, “Be great today. Let’s put a stamp on this. Let’s go out here and be great.”
Q: “The softest pillow is a clean conscience.”
A: That’s just like don’t go into bed worrying about anything. You have nothing to hide from anybody. … That’s about my significant other, is just giving her my all and not have nothing to hide or worry about so I just know that she’s OK, I’m OK. I can leave my phone out in the open, and she doesn’t have to worry about it (laugh).
Q: “Don’t chase fame, let fame chase you.”
A: That’s a rap quote that I’ve heard. Don’t go out there and say I’m trying to have Andre Brown billboards out there. I’m just going out here just trying to be the best football player and running back that I can be, and eventually, in my pursuit of that, fame’ll chase me.
Q: Your son is 2. Does he know you’re a football player?
A: Yeah. Every time we drive by the stadium, “Daddy football, daddy football.” He sees me on TV. He knows about stats and he’s 2 years old (smile). I asked him a question like, “Who’s gonna win the Super Bowl this year?” and he was like, “We did it!” and he’s talking about the Giants. I was like, “That would be a great thing for the Giants to win a Super Bowl,” and he’s like, “Daddy, that’ll make you so happy Daddy!” And I was like, “You’re right, that’d make me very, very happy.”
Q: Does he crack jokes like you do?
A: He likes to dance and sing “Treasure” and “Blurred Lines.” So when the family’s around, he’ll say, “Put on ‘Blurred Lines,’ Daddy,” and he likes to just sit there in the middle of the floor and dance and let everybody watch him. That’s my boy.
Q: Does he go to the games?
A: When it’s not cold out. He was in child care the other day, and my face came on TV, he was like, “That’s my daddy, daddy, daddy …” I’m just very blessed in that area where he’s realizing what I do, and it’s awesome. … He knows Dunkin’ Donuts. He knows Eli!
Q: Are you proud of yourself for overcoming what you’ve had to overcome?
A: I don’t want to set a limit, but I still feel like this journey is gonna have to continue before it becomes a success story. I’ve been back, what, three weeks? I still got a lot to prove, so I’m not gonna answer that question yet. … Not ’til after I’m done.
Q: So between now and next Terrible Joke Tuesday, you’re going to be thinking of terrible jokes?
A: Si, senor.