The Mariners fought valiantly for Hondo last night, rallying past the Angels to partially offset his loss with the Cardinals and limit the deficit to 130 sisks.
Today, Mr. Aitch has learned that Mrs. Niese’s lucky blue skivvies have been recalibrated to prevent anymore debillitating comebackers, which calls for a 10-unit play on Jon and the Metamucils. Also, 10 units apiece on Chunky Bud Norris and Beefy Bart Colon.
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All city mayoral candidates say that if elected they will lift the ban on students taking cell phones to school, which is the right thing to do. It’s downright cruel asking teens to go seven hours without sexting … Good to see Manti Te’o get drafted by the Chargers, who apparently needed a slow, easily duped linebacker … The Daily Ruse is in the midst of its annual Citizenship Now program to assist immigrants. Let’s pray they aren’t helping to open the door for any rage-filled Chechans