SAY WHAT? From Ray Lewis (above right) getting a “lifetime inspiration” award, to Randy Moss (top left) claiming he is the best receiver ever, and Bartolo Colon’s (bottom left) head remaining enormous, it hasn’t been a Super week. (
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The only thing about this week of absurdities that distinguishes it from the absurdities of last week, and the week before that, is that on Super Bowl week we get to list the absurdities in Roman Gabriel numerals:
I — As announced Monday, Ray Lewis tonight will receive the “Lifetime of Inspiration Award” at the “Super Bowl Gospel Celebration” in New Orleans — “The Only NFL-Sanctioned Gospel Concert.”
Lewis is being honored as “an extraordinary individual who has impacted sport and community.”
No argument there.
Not only did he plead to obstruction in a still-unsolved double murder — at a Super Bowl, no less — then reach a financial settlement with the families of the victims, he is the father of six from four women and remains a fearsome, flagged and fined linebacker for his remorselessly brutal hits, which he often follows with blood-dances.
Yes, Lewis certainly has left his mark on sport and community. And he is eager to tell us all the credit belongs to the good Lord. Guess it didn’t take the organizers long to realize there was no better choice.
II — Boss Francesa denied a report that he had a police escort to the airport before his flight to the Super Bowl.
Though I believe him, I can’t think of a better use of taxpayer money than to ensure Mike Francesa leaves town. My concern would be with whether taxpayer funds would be used to assist his return.
Besides, Francesa needs no help from the NYPD. You may recall his “law enforcement sources” in Jersey — those willing to provide him inside info on Lawrence Taylor’s sex-with-a-minor arrest in Ramapo, N.J.
Only a nit-picker would add that those were Francesa-fabricated police, working a case in an imaginary town within a nonexistent jurisdiction. The arrest was made in Ramapo, NY.
III — What Randy Moss meant: “I might’ve been the greatest receiver of all-time had I not acted like a selfish, child-like jerk my entire career.”
Moss, 35 and his cap still turned sideways, always has been lost in his own space. Why would the greatest be so expendable, so soon, so often? Including the Vikings, twice, he has played for six teams! Only because of his talent he qualifies as a finalist for the greatest pain in the fanny of all-time.
IV — Monday, here, we wondered why the story of Providence College center James Still made such little news and noise. Last week, Still was sentenced to at least three years in prison for a brutal, unprovoked assault on a Providence student.
Another Friars basketball player, Johnnie Lacy, previously was sentenced to a minimum of four years for the same random attack, one that left the victim’s face disfigured even after surgery to correct skull fractures.
But this case of student-athletics is worse than first thought. Still, from Detroit, was tossed from Providence after the felony charges, yet, while awaiting trial, returned to Michigan to play for Henry Ford Community College.
From there, Still was recruited to Division I Eastern Michigan, which ignored its statutes forbidding athletes charged with felonies from playing.
Finally, three days after Still was convicted in Rhode Island, EMU decided to announce Still, this season’s starting center, has been dismissed from the team for a felony conviction, two schools ago!
I guess EMU had no choice, other than to spring him from jail.
Last season the University of Rhode Island didn’t seem to know its star forward, Jonathan Holton, was wanted for armed robbery in Florida. That came to light after he was arrested for an on-campus sex crime.
V — We figured there was a reason Bartolo Colon’s head grew to look like a cookie jar with curls — the pitcher who looked like the Kool-Aid pitcher — didn’t we?
Dangerous events make X Games tragedy no surprise
No Matter how slick ESPN may think of itself, it’s not slick enough to beat an inevitability of its own, slick creation.
Yesterday, ESPN X Games competitor Caleb Moore died in a Colorado hospital. Seven days earlier, Moore, 25, was crushed by his machine after landing in the Freestyle Snowmobile event. Moore was airlifted for emergency heart surgery and also suffered brain injuries.
Moore’s younger brother, on the same day in the same event, was rushed to the hospital with a separated pelvis.
Incredibly, ESPN encourages, rewards and televises stunts performed on 500-pound snowmobiles as they crest hills, launching them into the air at top speed. Death-defying danger! Boys, male teens and young adult dudes are supposed to love it, especially the wipeouts!
If there’s a plasma shortage in Aspen, it might be traced to Bristol, Conn., where there also is a now-fatal shortage of foresight. For all of its self-promotion, ESPN gave little play to this story: ESPN’s latest Winter X Games — the “X” is for extreme — turned into a carnage festival on ESPN’s invites and urgings.
Snowboarder Halldor Helgason, in the “Big Air” event, landed on his head and was transported to the hospital last Friday. He suffered a concussion on ESPN’s time and dime.
Two days later, two women slope-style skiers — airborne stunt artists — were hospitalized. Rose Battersby, 19, fractured her spine in a crash during a practice run. The other woman suffered assorted injuries when her knee gave out on a landing, hurtling her into a fence.
But even given Moore’s death in service to ESPN’s creation, it could have been worse.
After a freestyle snowmobiler was dislodged on landing, his unmanned, 500-pound machine took a hard turn at full speed — directly toward spectators. The crowd frantically scattered, just in time. Good thing, too. By then, ESPN’s X Games likely were running short on ambulances.
Talbot’s Byng moment ignored
Is It possible for an NHL player to become a Lady Byng Memorial Trophy candidate — for sportsmanlike conduct — while in a fight?
Tuesday against the Rangers, Flyers’ right winger Max Talbot did a remarkably noble thing for which he received no credit from MSG’s Rangers announcers.
Talbot and Ryan Callahan began to fight. Suddenly, Talbot stopped, backed off and signaled to the Rangers bench for help. Clearly, Callahan and Talbot both stopped trying to punch each other because both knew Callahan had just hurt his shoulder.
Viewers couldn’t miss this remarkable scene, not live nor in multiple replays. It deserved emphasis from Sam Rosen and Joe Micheletti, who otherwise tracked the hassle, start to finish. Yet, Talbot’s act went unspoken until, after the final replay, Micheletti managed, “I think he knew something happened to Callahan.”
He thinks? What else was Talbot doing, stopping to summon a waitress?