US News

AILING, TOTTERING TONY JUST BARELY HANGING ON

ANTHONY MARSHALL has survived the Battle of Iwo Jima and his marriage to “Miss Piggy” Charlene and even outlived his beautiful, befuddled, 105-year-old mother, Brooke Astor.

But will he live through the trial currently enthralling downtown — in which he’s charged with robbing dear old Mum?

Marshall, 84, who suffers from a heart condition — made worse, no doubt, by his gentle love for his stout, domineering, potty-mouthed wife of 63 — nearly fell flat on his face on his way into the courthouse yesterday.

He was caught by a court officer, who reached out and steadied Marshall on his feet, before he could become the latest casualty of his greed.

Marshall wound up living to see another day, only to hear Brooke’s social secretary damn him with his own alleged words. The secretary, Naomi Dunn Packard-Koot, testified that Marshall grew livid when his mother tried to give away family heirlooms that he could sell.

“Don’t let her do that again!” Packard-Koot testified Marshall commanded her.

Marshall’s mom had just tried to give some valuable Astor-heirloom silver pieces to their rightful owners, the Astors from England.

Anthony freaked out.

It got so bizarre that Marshall, who has not a speck of Astor blood coursing through his veins, instructed Packard-Koot to interrupt Mrs. Astor’s meeting with her in-laws, in order to save the dang silver.

Marshall is reacting physically to revelations that he’s just as grasping as his fish wife.

On Wednesday, he sat on a hard wooden bench in the hallway, next to the crack whores and reporters who populate the courthouse, and fell soundly asleep. No one had the heart to rouse him.

When he finally awoke, an observer asked him how he was doing. Marshall didn’t hesitate.

“I’m so-o-o tired,” he sniveled.

In fact, 100 percent of his conversation has centered around issues of mortality.

He’s complained about an aching back. He’s talked about his bypass scar.

Charlene has little to fear. When he’s gone, she’ll be set for life.

Nice work.