Don’t miss

Argo eff yourself, Oscar

That’s what Ben Affleck might very well tell the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences when his film “Argo” wins Best Picture of 2012. Infamously snubbed by the directors’ branch of the academy, the Affleck film about the unlikely rescue of American hostages from Iran by some Hollywood producers who created a bogus movie to be shot in Tehran has swept guilds’ awards, the Golden Globes and the BAFTAs. If it all pans out as everyone expects, this will be the first time since “Driving Miss Daisy” that a picture has taken the top prize without a nomination for its director. So, that makes Best Picture the most suspenseful moment of the night. Will you stay awake? Other prizes, like Daniel Day-Lewis for Best Actor in “Lincoln,” seem guaranteed. French actress Emmanuelle Riva is the oldest nominee and will celebrate her 86th birthday on Oscar night, when she may upset Jennifer Lawrence and walk off with the Best Actress prize for “Amour.” Robert De Niro has been crying on every NYC street corner to win a Best Supporting Actor prize. Anne Hathaway hasn’t eaten since her 10th birthday in hopes of walking off with Best Supporting Actress. It used to be: Just play someone handicapped, and you’ll win. Now, it’s tears and starvation. The show is produced by Neil Meron and Craig Zadan, part of the brain trust behind NBC’s failure, “Smash.” They have persuaded Barbra Streisand to put on a caftan, leave her Malibu lair and sing. Your host is Seth MacFarlane. Last year’s winners Jean Dujardin, Christopher Plummer, Octavia Spencer and Meryl Streep will present.

85TH ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS

Today, 8:30 p.m., ABC

Ticking clock

With a renewed determination to find Laila (Jacinda Barrett), Hank (Anthony Edwards) returns from India, searching for new clues while Laila, who is being held hostage by White Vincent (Michael Nyqvist), is tasked with repairing the next clock for him. Knowing she needs to help Hank find her, she starts leaving a trail of clues for him to follow. In another face-to-face showdown with White Vincent, Hank realizes there is more to this connection than meets the eye. Meanwhile, Hank’s parents are hiding a secret, thanks to the FBI, Hank, Arron (Scott Michael Foster) and Rachel (Addison Timlin) discover that a historical figure holds the key to unlocking the next clock.

ZERO HOUR

Thursday, 8 p.m., ABC

Leslie to the rescue

Leslie (Amy Poehler, above) tries to help a local video store stay in business after the owner (Jason Schwartzman, above far left) is hit by the bad economy. Chris (Rob Lowe) tries to give Tom (Aziz Ansari) some fatherly advice in dealing with a difficult employee (Jenny Slate), while Ann (Rashida Jones) blackmails April (Aubrey Plaza) into being her friend.

PARKS AND RECREATION

Thursday, 8:30 p.m., NBC

Jess and the jock

Jess (Zooey Deschanel, left) catches the eye of a professional football player (Steve Howey), with whom Winston (Lamorne Morris) landed an interview for his radio station. Meanwhile, Nick (Jake Johnson) and Schmidt (Max Greenfield) argue over the planning of their “TinFinity” party celebrating their 10th anniversary of living together, and Cece (Hannah Simone) gets an offer.

NEW GIRL

Tuesday, 9 p.m., Fox

Broken tabloid heart

Juliette (Hayden Panettiere) plans a surprise birthday party for Deacon (Charles Esten), which is attended by real-life country stars Dan Auerbach (Black Keys), Vince Gill, Pam Tillis, Kate York and Kip Moore. During the celebration, Rayna (Connie Britton) sings, backed up by Tillis and York, Watty White (JD Souther) and Adria (Erin McCarley). However, Juliette’s own performance is derailed by her mother, the rehab queen. As Rayna and Teddy’s (Eric Close) divorce moves forward, the tabloids move in, speculating about Rayna’s cheating and thrusting her children into the spotlight; Teddy decides to bring Peggy (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) into his mayoral fold; and Gunnar’s gun-toting brother charms Scarlett (Clare Bowen) with his singing.

NASHVILLE

Wednesday, 10 p.m.,. ABC

Box-office queen

Well, Rex Reed has had his say. His rude remarks about Melissa McCarthy deterred absolutely no one from seeing her new movie, “Identity Thief,” the weekend it opened. Some of that traffic may now drift to her television series, “Mike & Molly.” This week, Molly (McCarthy) enjoys a shopping spree at the mall after Mike (Billy Gardell) storms off over a disagreement. Gerald McRaney guest stars as Police Captain Patrick Murphy, Mike’s boss. Also starring Reno Wilson and Swoosie Kurtz.

MIKE & MOLLY

Monday, 9:30 p.m., CBS