Glenn Beck
After all the drama, we learned how to get along without Keith Olbermann (above) and Glenn Beck. (
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Don’t blame me. Reader Jim Mulloy started it with, “What percentage of non-attorney spokespersons in commercials are spokespersons for attorneys?”
And that got me to thinking . . .
Why are we told that “viewer discretion is advised” when it’s far more advisable to advise viewer indiscretion?
How many more times is a TV reporter going to tell us that he/she is standing in “a residential neighborhood”? What neighborhood has no residents?
And why are we always told the temperature was in Central Park at 11 p.m.? Who lives in Central Park? Who’s watching from Central Park?
Why do TV stations remind us that the “postgame show will be seen immediately following the game”?
Why are Islamic female college students in the US who protest the US policies and treatment of Islamic countries and Muslims, never asked how they feel about Islamic countries denying Muslim women college educations?
Why do cops and news anchors continue to refer to “robberies gone bad”? Shouldn’t it be “robberies gone worse”?
Is President Obama aware that TV is now loaded with commercials in which companies swear to be able to erase up to 60 percent of a person’s debt? And even the phone number and initial consultation are free!
Still can’t figure the difference between “illegal aliens” and “undocumented immigrants,” unless the latter misplaced their documents.
What did we ever do to deserve Nancy Grace?
If the New York Lottery’s “Little Bit of Luck” game has “nearly 1 million winners a day” — as claimed in TV commercials — why is it that the overwhelming number of those “winners” actually lost money on their winning tickets?
Why must NBC’s “Biggest Loser’s” countdown scale make the exact noise as the one that warns that I left the freezer open?
Turns out that all along we could live without Keith Olbermann and Glenn Beck, didn’t it?
Is there really an operator standing by at 2:45 a.m. to see if I call in the next 10 minutes? And if so, what if I’m not as interested in free shipping and handling as much as I am lonely?
Has a dead body ever been discovered that didn’t constitute “a grisly discovery”? And what if someone discovers a dead grizzly bear?
And can’t you just “find” or “see” a dead body, rather than “discover” one? It’s not as if noticing an arm hanging out of a Dumpster qualifies you as Ferdinand Magellan, Jr.
Why do the news media bother asking leaders of gay rights groups to respond to physical attacks against gays? What do we expect them to say? Why not ask leaders of anti-gay rights groups?
Which story do you suppose Ch. 7’s “Eyewitness News” would first eliminate from its 11 p.m. newscast: A three-alarm apartment house fire in Queens, that night, or the announcement of the latest competitors on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars,” released hours earlier?
How is it that we’d never even heard of reverse mortgages until Robert Wagner, Henry Winkler and Fred Thompson decided to let us in on them?
How’s this: We take a picture of a McDonald’s Big Mac or of a dinner entree at Red Lobster — a photo taken from a TV commercial or print ad — walk into one of these establishments, hand the photo to a server and say, “Gimme one of these.”
Former VP (of the United States!) turned human rights and environmental activist Al Gore sells his US cable network to Qatar, an oppressive, terrorist-backing, oil-soaked Islamic Republic, and this makes far less noise and news than whether Manti Te’o will ever find true love?
Oh, well. That’s the TV bag we’re in.