Ever wonder how the Yankees radio team would feel about the Yankees radio team if it were stuck listening to the Yankees radio team?
This question made the short trip across my mind Saturday, when in two consecutive batters John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman, who have provided far worse, left me, well, wondering.
With two out in the top of the fourth, the Twins’ Trevor Plouffe grounded out on what was either a routine play or a spectacular play — Sterling called it both ways. But it turned out to be neither.
“Ground ball to short,” Sterling casually said, then suddenly, surprisingly hollered “Diving stop by [Luis] Cruz!” who then threw Plouffe out, another reason for Sterling to fall out of his chair.
Sterling and Waldman discussed and gushed how Cruz can play short and third like a wiz.
But how did that routine grounder to short become a spectacular play?
A look at the TV tape showed neither radio announcer — their audience’s “eyes” — bothered to note the ball was hit close to Cruz — slightly to his left, and hard — but he made a diving stop a couple of steps away from a ball he might have fielded straight-on.
But on Yankees radio, Cruz made a shout-out-loud, diving stop of a batted ball that started as a routine grounder to short, as if no explanation or description were needed.
As the bottom of the fourth began, Waldman updated folks on Yankees injuries. She spoke of Alex Rodriguez only as “Alex;” even said “Alex” with a bit of a lilt as if he’s a consensus beloved Yankee who will soon heroically ride to the team’s rescue.
Waldman said “despite reports to the contrary,” Rodriguez was scheduled to resume rehabbing by playing that day in a minor league game in Tampa. She did not even hint “Alex,” a past performance-enhancing drug user who repeatedly lied about his drug use, met on Friday with drug investigators — something both significant and not contrary to reports.
Next, she said something, unrelated to injuries, about Mariano Rivera. Again, no last name; she just spoke of him as “Mariano.”
We were again left to wonder why a professional broadcaster serving the largest media market in the world would prefer to be heard as the Yankees’ den mother.
Another amazing shot from MLB Net
The thing to like most about MLB Network is it’s either lucky or has a knack. It so often seems, as per its scheduling, to be in a good place at a good time.
Friday night from Detroit, even with the Tigers up 7-2 in the bottom of the seventh, MLBN was in the right place.
Joseph Ortiz, a reliever just up from the minors, struck out Miguel Cabrera, the defending MVP, who swung at a ball that came in belly-button-high and nearly landed in the dirt. Some pitch.
Cabrera was then seen mouthing something toward Ortiz. What up? A close-up tape followed: Cabrera was smiling. What he mouthed to Ortiz clearly was “Wow!” Never saw anything like that before. Thanks, MLBN.
* Great question from a well-known local sports broadcaster: “Does reading — or perusing — The Body Issue of ESPN The Magazine at ESPN’s offices constitute sexual harassment?”
Answer: ESPN’s authorities will only indulge inappropriate sexual conduct under the guise of sports if there’s money in it, if it’s part of a sales plan. At all other times, it’s strictly forbidden and sexual sensitivity training remains mandatory.
Mixed Messages, Continued: CBS Sports Network has purchased the rights to IMG’s World’s Strongest Man competitions, previously and for years held by ESPN.
It has been reported World’s Strongest Man events have been so steroids-loaded, competitors have not bothered to deny it.
* Tim Lincecum’s no-hitter Saturday night, as ESPN’s “SportsCenter” yesterday noted, was the “First by a Giant since [Matt Cain] June 2012.”
To that end, reader Larson Banilower wants to wish everyone a happy July 15, “The first July 15 since 2012.”
Kay catches on to Cano’s listless play
Better very late than never: It seems Michael Kay has grown tired or too embarrassed to pretend we can’t see, think and know better. Twice recently he saw and spoke what we have for years seen and spoken — Robinson Cano isn’t particularly interested in reaching the next base, starting with first.
Saturday on YES, with the Yankees at home and losing to the Twins, Cano’s grounder to second was followed by a lazy walk in the direction of first, the kind of gait seen pool-side by those wearing flip-flops and carrying trays of pina coladas.
“Cano leisurely strolls toward first,” Kay said. David Cone quickly changed the subject.
* As if we don’t get enough stats, Cone on Saturday explained the Yankees have allowed only 30 stolen bases, with 15 caught stealing. “That’s a 50 percent success rate.” It is? A total of 45 attempts, 30 steals. That’s 67 percent, no?
* Reader Bill Fleming writes: “The day is coming when a player will be poked in the eye or have his nose broken while being hit [in the face] with a pie — all because of a ‘walk-off’ infield single.”
* We now run the risk of considering arrests of college and pro athletes for DWIs, domestic battery, 3 a.m. assaults and weapons possessions as no big deal — as long as no one was crippled or killed.
* We’ve been asked why Mike Francesa only refers to Andy Pettitte as Andy: Are they that close?
Answer: Francesa’s close to all big leaguers. That’s why Francesa explained he knew Tigers pitcher Al Alburquerque only as “Alberto.”
* Pssst. Between us (don’t tell Bud Selig) Yankee Stadium was half-empty yesterday. Again.
* The media now take the MLB All-Star Game more seriously than both players and fans.
* Not that I’m one to fuel a scandal, but then again I’m not the only one to notice Mr. Met and Mrs. Met appear less like husband and wife, and a lot more like brother and sister.