MAYBE Roseanne should have gone back to grabbing her crotch.
Then she might have been better able to meet the low standards set by NBC, home of “Sally” and “Maury” and their daily parade of psychotic teens.
She may have also stood a fighting chance of thriving in the debased, bizarre world of daytime TV.
Instead, Roseanne cleaned up her act, underwent an elaborate makeover and delivered a talk show in which people actually talk – intelligently.
Boy, did she misread the daytime audience!
The last thing anyone wants to see on a talk show these days is anybody talking.
They want to see conflict – between kids and parents, friends and lovers, complainants and defendants. They want to hear people yelling and cursing, even if the words are bleeped. And they want to see fighting and obscene gestures.
That’s where Roseanne’s famous crotch-grab would have come in handy. Back in July 1990, she upset a lot of people when she grabbed her crotch while singing a grossly off-key version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” at a San Diego Padres game. In hindsight, she was probably ahead of her time.
Given her reputation for outrageousness, stations liked the idea of Roseanne hosting a talk show. They liked it so much, they bought it without seeing a pilot and without a clear description of what the show would be like. They signed contracts agreeing to take “The Roseanne Show” for two seasons.
What they got was a talk show like no other on daytime TV. Unlike the other self-named talk shows (with the obvious exception of “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” which occupies a world of its own), “The Roseanne Show” actually reflects the host’s own tastes. Roseanne interviews people she’s interested in, and features performers whom she herself admires.
That gives the show an integrity that’s largely missing from daytime TV these days. Do you think Ricki Lake really cares about the people who undergo transgender makeovers on her sick joke of a talk show? Do you think Sally Jessy Raphael and Maury Povich lie awake nights wondering how all those incorrigible delinquents are faring in boot camp?
Unfortunately, the results for “Roseanne” have been abysmal, with ratings falling to all-time lows this summer. Now the stations that signed two-year contracts for the show are having second thoughts.
Ten of them – all owned by NBC – want so badly to wriggle out of their commitments that they’re doing everything they can to kill the show.
The chief executive of the station group, Pat Wallace, even publicly declared last week that the NBC stations won’t air “The Roseanne Show” this fall, even if they have to continue paying millions in license fees to King World.
The strategy behind the move is this: If NBC doesn’t air the show in the big markets where it has stations – including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago and Philadelphia – the show won’t be able to attract national advertisers or big-name guests. King World will be forced to either pull the plug or shift the show to other stations in those markets. Either way, the NBC stations will be rid of the show and relieved of their obligation to pay for it.
To its credit, stubborn King World vowed Friday that the show will go on.
And Roseanne, who was once known for being so outspoken she would send profanity-laced faxes to critics with whom she disagreed, had no comment.