Entertainment

BRATZ

NO, “Bratz,” an unwitting and witless critique of American consumerism run amok, does not star Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.

Four unknown actresses you will hopefully never hear of again ineptly play offensive ethnic stereotypes (brainy Asian, Latina singing “La Cucaracha,” etc.) in this excruciatingly inane high-school comedy inspired by a line of sexually suggestive dolls aimed at 9-year-old girls.

There are several vulgar musical numbers – a couple highlighting a Paris wannabe, complete with dog – that are so poorly written and staged that by comparison they make “High School Musical” look like “Chicago.”

The latter character’s father, the principal of Carry (sic) Nation High School, is played by a desperately mugging Jon Voight, hiding behind a prosthetic nose. When he tells her “everyone knows you’re my daughter,” it’s not hard to imagine Angelina wincing with embarrassment.

Zero stars

Running time: 110 minutes. Rated PG (for “thematic elements,” whatever that means). At the Lincoln Square, the Kips Bay, the Union Square, others.