Hondo did just enough last week to maintain his solo perch atop the Best Bet standings. Beyond that, he sees nothing noteworthy about the past.
Giants over Dolphins: Even the blokes in London know that Big Blue is going to kick the Dolphins’ bloody arse.
Bills over Jets: Mangenius said he’s sticking with Pennington because of several “classic Chad” plays. That’s classic Eric. One play that Mangenius didn’t mention was the late-fourth-quarter, drive-killing interception. Now that’s classic Chad.
Browns over Rams: This just in: Sources say Tuesday’s explosion at the Oyster Bar in Grand Central was due to a rogue batch of fast-acting oysters.
Lions over Bears: A company in Japan has developed a portable toilet that can be assembled in cars. That’ll be especially good for someone like the lady astronut, who’ll have a place to wring out her diaper on those long rides from Houston to Florida.
Colts over Panthers: Hillary gave some props this week to Bill, who she said is “always bringing me back things from his trips.” While the Dem frontrunner sees that as being “so romantic,” most see it as guilt.
Raiders over Titans: John McCain says he likes Hillary personally, which probably dates to last year when they did vodka shots together in Estonia. Most Republicans would rather see her do shots with Cheney.
Vikings over Eagles: According to a survey by CNN and Travel and Leisure magazine, Philadelphia is home to the least attractive people in the U.S. Wait till the Eagles fall to 2-5 and see how ugly they get.
Steelers over Bengals: CB Johnathan Joseph returned from a suspension last week, while WR Chris Henry has been given the go-ahead to practice as his eight-game suspension winds down. Once the Bengwads get all their criminals back, they’re going to be tough, but not just yet.
Chargers over Texans: The NFL is cutting the time allowed between picks at next year’s NFL draft, a devastating blow to the viewers, who won’t be able to spend nearly as much quality time with Mel Kiper Jr.’s hair.
Bucs over Jaguars: Tampa Bay WR Michael Clayton suffered a high ankle sprain last week and is listed as “out.” Oddly enough, Hondo also suffered a high ankle sprain while making a hasty exit from “Michael Clayton,” the film, a 21/2-half-hour drivel-fest that landed Mrs. Aitch on six-month movie probation.
49ers over Saints: Nice touch by the folks running the Breeders’ Cup to bring in some notable breeders to hand out the hardware, including Travis Henry, the world’s most fertile running back; singer/songwriter /sperm donor David Crosby, whose motto is: “If it isn’t Crosby’s, it isn’t sperm;” Shawn Kemp; Steve Garvey and Diddy.
Patriots over Redskins: The Pats have won a lawsuit against StubHub that forces the ticket-seller to reveal the names of those who scalped ducats to New England games in violation of state law. As everyone knows, the entire Patriots organization is a real stickler for following the rules.
Packers over Broncos: An Aussie barmaid was fined for violating the country’s Liquor Control Act by crushing beer cans between her bare breasts and hanging spoons from her nipples. Ted Kennedy was unimpressed. The distinguished and bloated senator claims he once crushed a loaded trash can between his bare supersaggers and hung two snow shovels from his nipples.
BEST BETS: Giants, Colts, Patriots.
hondo@nypost.com