THE cold void of January can’t come fast enough if it means an end to releases like “The Perfect Holiday.”
This sticky family comedy features Gabrielle Union as the ex-wife of an obnoxious rapper, J. Jizzy (Charlie Murphy, who gets the only laughs in the movie mentioning his ideas for Christmas songs like “I Saw Mommy Cappin’ Santa Claus”).
The divorcee’s kid helps steer her to a handsome department-store Santa named Benjamin (Morris Chestnut) who also happens to be a songwriter pitching his wares to the rapper. It takes half of this slow-dripping movie for Benjamin to get himself into a business deal with J-Jizzy, leading to some farcical ducking and weaving so the songwriter can prevent his new business partner and his new girlfriend from finding out about his relationship with the other one. Which doesn’t make sense in the first place, since J. Jizzy calls his ex at home one night and notices that Benjamin is the man who answers the phone. The script can’t figure out what to do with this information, so the rapper seems to just forget it.
Sappy romantic scenes play off against a behind-the-scenes battle between a couple of guardian angels or Greek chorus figures played by Queen Latifah, as the good angel, and Terrence Howard as her grumpy counterpart. Howard humiliates himself in a clownish role. Either he had some favors to repay or his phone has already stopped ringing with decent offers just two years after he got an Oscar nomination.
Most of the comedy comes from dull situations like a fat guy trying to put on a fat suit for no reason, or a ladies’ night at home in which Union’s character and her girlfriends eat ice cream right out of the pint while watching a movie. Fortunately for them, it’s unlikely to be as bad as this one.
THE PERFECT HOLIDAY
Season’s bleatings.
Running time: 96 minutes. Rated PG (midly suggestive humor). At the Empire, the Magic Johnson, the 34th Street, others