Sports

HO HO HONDO HAS CLAUS FOR CONCERN

It’s the special, feel-good Hondo Christmas Spectacular, which is an invitation to all in HondoNation to gather around and collect your winners. However, judging by recent events, there’s probably only about five of them in the pile, so make sure you take the right ones.

Panthers over Cowboys: TO’s doing a lot of hootering and hollering about Jessica Simpson being a distraction for Romo. The QB’s refraining from retaliating because he doesn’t want it to turn into tit for tat.

Giants over Bills: They fumble, they drop passes and they throw it 52 times in stiff, swirling winds, which leads Hondo to believe it’ll be the defense, well-rested after last week, that spares Big Blue a do-or-die against the Pats.

Jets over Titans: Let’s hope Gang Green again can beat the number by overcoming the misguided strategy of Mangenius, i.e. the foolish over-use of Brad Smith, not going for a field goal down 7-0 on fourth and 2 inside the 20, etc.

Browns over Bengals: There’s only four more days till the happy, little kiddies run to the tree and excitedly rip off the wrapping paper to see what toys Santa has brought them. And there’s only five more days till those toys have to be given back because they were dipped in lead paint in China.

Bears over Packers: With the death of 116-year-old Hryhoriy Nester of the Ukraine, Edna Parker, 114, of Indiana is now the world’s oldest person. But stay tuned …

Texans over Colts: The SAG Award nominations were announced yesterday. Ted Kennedy, the distinguished and bloated senator from Mass., is up for his second Lifetime Achievement Award in the SUPER-SAG division.

Lions over Chiefs: Hillary told a crowd at a livestock auction barn in Iowa: “I’ve been to cattle barns and sales. I know you’re going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want.” There were no takers, but all that could explain how she turned $1,000 into $100,000 in the cattle futures market.

Patriots over Dolphins: It was a huge week for the Fish, who picked up their first win, landed Tuna and, as part of the package, gained an enormous fan in Francesa.

Jaguars over Raiders: College administrators are getting concerned about a new drinking game that’s sweeping local campuses: Every time Francesa uses the word “enormous” on the radio, you have to take a belt. Students are passing out by 2:30 p.m.

Saints over Eagles: There’s a good explanation why Hillary’s deadbeat brother, Anthony Rodham, is $158,000 behind on alimony and child-support payments. The lovely Mrs. Aitch says he read his sister’s book and thought the village was going to pick it up.

Redskins over Vikings: Meanwhile, the most interesting pairing this week on the campaign trail had to be Bill and Magic Johnson. Strangely enough, statistics indicate Bill has dunked more than Magic.

Cardinals over Falcons: It’s been a tough year for the working person, what with a UPS guy and a city transit worker getting fired for having Irritable Bowel Syndrome and an Upper East Side doorman getting suspended for having bad breath. It just illustrates how important it is for everyone to engage in sound daily orifice maintenance, especially during the holidays.

Seahawks over Ravens: The game’s a microcosm of the annual inner Christmas conflict as to whether it’s better to give or receive. Generous-to-a-fault-types like Hondo suggest the former, especially against a skittish coach like Billick who, facing a fourth down on the 1, opts for a game-tying FG rather than going for the win against an 0-13 team.

Bucs over 49ers: There should be no pregnant pause in the literary career of Lynne Spears. A parenting book on doing everything wrong and turning your daughters into national jokes can provide an invaluable learning tool for moms and dads.

Chargers over Broncos: Mick Buckmir (of the Brothers Buckmir) e-mails to say that Jamie Lynn should have just stayed with Zoey 101 and not added the dangerous elective, Britney 101.

BEST BETS: Giants, Cardinals, Chargers.

LAST NIGHT: Rams.

hondo@nypost.com