What women will learn from Bravo’s newest reality series, “Millionaire Matchmaker,” is that rich men are just as befuddled by relationships as poor ones. But rich guys take women on much more elaborate first dates.
Patti Stanger, a third-generation matchmaker, founded the Beverly Hills-based Millionaire’s Club in 2000, catering to men all over the world who’ve made their million and then some and now are looking for the perfect mate.
Finding the love of your life doesn’t come cheap: a membership for a California millionaire who doesn’t want to travel for love is $15,000, while a man who wants a nationwide search pays $25,000. International memberships cost $100,000 while billionaires who demand constant personal attention pay $150,000. (The men featured in the show received free matchmaking.)
While it seems like they would have little problem luring one, the truth is that figuring out how to make a big buck doesn’t necessarily translate into having any relationship skills.
“Here’s the problem: these men come from a world where they are a little more critical than the rest of us,” says Stanger, a blunt, fast-talking woman who hails from New Jersey. “They think they deserve perfection. Los Angeles is the only place where a 0 male expects a 10 and still thinks he can do better. They come with a wish list and they want me to hit every bell on the list. Then I give them the perfect girl and they screw it up.”
Stanger’s point is proved pretty quickly in the show’s first two episodes, which feature four wealthy bachelors, all of whom could use some social grooming.
“Sex-toy” Dave, who made his millions selling adult products on the Internet, doesn’t understand why women don’t dig the stripper pole in his living room.
Middle-aged Harold, who trades options and lives in a sprawling mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean, wants to marry a 25-year-old and start breeding. Only problem is that those sweet young things tend to be turned off by the fact that he’s never heard of the movie “Napolean Dynamite” or the band Linkin Park.
French-bred Julien seems like the perfect gentleman but he lives in a dump and has no ability to carry on a relaxed conversation — except in French.
Wanna-be rocker Jeff, who made his fortune in software, is a sweet, if strangely dressed guy who doesn’t understand why women don’t react well to his inability to commit to even the next date.
None of this is news to Stanger, who often becomes a sort of non-sexual dominatrix for these men, beating them up verbally over their bad choices.
“Men have to get over this immaturity, this emasculation. It’s pathetic,” says Stanger, who sees it as her life’s mission to whip men into shape. “Eventually they get to a breaking point and it’s like breaking in a stallion. I have to ask them ‘do you want to end up in a nursing home alone with no partner and no children?’ I’m the ghost of the past, present and future for them.”
As for women, Stanger and her small staff of three are constantly searching for beautiful, accomplished women to set up with these millionaires. Stanger is willing to find male partners for rich women as well, but says dating doesn’t work very well when the situation is reversed.
“It’s like Lucy Liu’s character in ‘Cashmere Mafia,'” she says. “When you get that successful, you emasculate the man.”
Stanger herself is unmarried although she’s been dating the same man for four years. While she’s tough as nails, the whole process can even get her down.
“When I first started this, I was in my 30s and I was depressed. When I got under the hood of the car, so to speak, I found that men were just thinking superficial thoughts. I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to change the world, and I wanted women to raise their sons differently.”
MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER
Tuesday, 11 p.m., Bravo