QUICK! Choose which is worse: Donald Trump or Viagra? Oprah Winfrey or the Catholic Church?
Tila Tequila or Kim Jong Il?
Tough calls, right?
Finally one man is willing to give us some answers by taking on these sacred cows and exposing them for what they might, in fact, be: The roots of all evil.
That’s the mission of insanely funny guy Lewis Black and his new show, “Lewis Black’s Root Of All Evil,” debuting on Comedy Central tonight.
It’s the funniest show I’ve seen all year. Actually, it’s the funniest show I’ve seen in two years.
Black is the judge and jury for a rotating group of comics – two each show – who make the cases for which entity is the more vile.
On the premiere episode, it’s “Oprah vs. the Catholic Church” with Paul F. Tompkins arguing that Oprah is the most evil and Greg Giraldo insisting that it’s the Catholic Church.
Each show begins with a crazed monologue by Black, wherein he gets to introduce the comics and the topics with statements such as, “Catholic women are like Jewish women, but more athletic. And they smoke!”
Then the comics have to give their “opening statements” as they pace around like lawyers in court with Black as the gavel-pounding judge.
If the “opening statements” don’t have you on the floor calling for a back brace – because you’ve thrown your spine out from laughing – then you are either in a coma or watching a different channel.
Next comes a video segment the comics make to bolster their case.
Tompkins shows how Oprah demands you love her for losing weight until she gets fat again – then it’s a “You go girl! Love your body!”
Giraldo counters with an even more hilarious video on the always-popular “torture instruments of the Inquisition.” Yeah, that’s right, I said “hilarious torture instruments of the Inquisition.”
This is followed by the “ripple of evil” section when the comics must say how the influence of their “side” can cause the end of the world.
Then it’s “closing statements,” after which Black renders a verdict about which “defendant” is worse – meaning which is the true root of all evil.
Next week it’s the equally hilarious contest “Donald Trump vs. Viagra” with Giraldo and comic Andy Kindler.
Future episodes with comics like Kathleen Madigan and Patton Oswalt will pit Paris Hilton vs. Dick Cheney; beer vs. weed, and ” ‘American Idol’ vs. ‘High School Musical.’ ”
I’m already laughing and I haven’t even seen them. Nasty, dirty, brilliant!
“Lewis Black’s Root Of All Evil”
Tonight at 10:30 on Comedy Central