Opinion

ENVIRO MENTAL INSTITUTION

“Find out when you should die!” says the dog in the lab coat. Oh boy! Are you ready kids? Would you be mine, could you be mine, won’t you be my carbon-spewing, polar bear-hating neighbor?

The PlanetSlayer, an irreverent feature on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s Web site, has added a “Greenhouse Calculator” that portrays visitors as an animated pig. As you answer questions about your carbon footprint, the pig grows bigger and finally explodes – telling you what age you should die so that you don’t use more than your fair share of the Earth’s resources. (This writer got points for not owning a car, but lost them for eating steak. At 35, I should call it a life.)

Since the ABC is state-funded, Australian media and politicians have been rightly critical of a site that tells kids they aren’t worth the air they breathe. But Bernie Hobbs, the site’s creative director, isn’t too perturbed. PlanetSlayer “had lower hits for the last couple of years – but the hoo ha in the Australian Senate this week should fix that. We’re expecting our stats to go through the roof!” she e-mails. “Thank God for outraged senators – you can’t buy publicity like that.”

As for the Greenhouse Calculator, Hobbs says, “We wanted to put the important things in perspective, and have a laugh along the way.” Laughs? Maybe. Perspective? As with most of these stunts, that quality’s sorely lacking.