Entertainment

BEE VERY AFRAID OF ‘FEAR ITSELF’

FRANKLIN Roosevelt used the words “fear itself” in a famous inaugural address (. . . “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”) to soothe anxieties caused by the Great Depression.

However, you’re likely to plunge into a great depression of your own if you watch this new horror anthology series titled “Fear Itself” on NBC.

The only fear engendered by this series is the fear that the NBC programming department has been possessed by Satan.

These are dark stories designed to tingle the spine and strain the eyes. They are so dark that you can’t even see parts of them. That’s a problem that plagues many horror films and TV shows – scenes set in unlighted houses so dark the only thing you can really see is your own reflection in the TV screen sitting there like an idiot.

In tonight’s premiere, four young men who seem to be on the run for reasons that are never clear will go off-road in a beat-up station wagon and become marooned somewhere in the remote neighborhood of a bunch of loonies.

And before you can say “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” they are beset by evil in the form of three blonde sisters. One of the blondies sews one of their mouth’s shut and another one serves up cannibal stew.

Next week’s episode opens with Eric Roberts, playing a thuggish cop, brutally beating a perp and fatally slashing the guy’s throat. That murder will come back to haunt Roberts in all sorts of bloody, violent ways, none of them particularly fearful.

Come to think of it, this show isn’t so much fear itself as disgust itself.

“Fear Itself”
Tonight at 10 on NBC