MY HOME borough has lost its collective marbles. People, repeat after me: It’s not worth it!
Silence. What do I know?
Folks began showing up at the brand-new IKEA store in Red Hook, Brooklyn, on Sunday – a day before they were permitted to pitch tents and wait, through threatened hailstorms and locust plagues, for tomorrow’s opening of the furniture giant’s first outlet in the city.
First on line were Brandis and J. Sanchez, a father and daughter. They drove to IKEA on Father’s Day, and waited inside Dad’s recreational vehicle until 9 a.m. Monday, and put up their tent.
Why would any living person sleep outside a store for two or three nights? Simple: The first 35 patrons win a free, snow-white couch that sells for $399, plus a place in history. The next 100 get a chair that costs $89. And the first 100 kids get a free toy, though I think any parent who allows a child to sleep at IKEA should wind up before a judge. Hopefully, the free furniture will last longer than the time these people camped out.
Some are old hands in the desperate art of scoring free stuff. Brandis, 27, of Park Slope, spent one cold Christmas outside an IKEA on Long Island dressed as a wrapped present – for a $100 gift certificate. Was it worth it?
“It was freezing,” said her dad, a retired military man from The Bronx.
They came from Jersey City and Manhattan and Queens. Laura Sandoval, 26, of Sheepshead Bay, currently unemployed, napped in a tent with her mother and brother.
I worried about Elizabeth Perez, 18, of Manhattan, who sat, exhausted, on the concrete with Ana Roca, 23. But Elizabeth promised to tough it out. The couch is a present for her mom, who had the sense to stay away.
IKEA is paying New York Water Taxi to ferry passengers here from Manhattan, free of charge. So am I joining the line?
Only if sleeping in the Marriott counts.