Crime may not pay, but it’s cheaper than costumed crime fighting – being a real-life Batman would run about $300 million.
That’s $120 million more than the estimated budget for “Dark Knight,” the latest Batman film, which will open Friday.
“You’d need to be on the Forbes list of richest people in the world to be Batman, but not at the very top. That’s good, because, otherwise, everyone would know who you were,” quipped Darren Hudson Hick, who researched what it would cost to be the Caped Crusader for the book “Batman Unauthorized.”
Hick, a former Comics Journal editor, said the $300 million would get you your own Bat Suit, Batarangs, Bat Cave, Bat Signal, Batmobile and much more. But the biggest-ticket item would be the Bat Computer.
“Batman’s not going to settle for the Bat Laptop. The Bat Computer is supposed to be the biggest, fastest and best computer around,” said Hick, adding that he’d favor the $290 million, 2,500-square-foot IBM Blue Gene/L supercomputer.
The perfect storage spot? The Bat Cave – except those aren’t exactly plentiful in Gotham, er, New York. Hick, a visiting assistant professor at Buckley University, said he’d build a bomb shelter and convert it – for about $3.5 million.
The cave would make the perfect garage for a top-of-the-line, tricked-out Batmobile. Hick’s choice? The $2 million Cadillac Sixteen – with its 32-valve, V-16, 1,000-horsepower engine.
Armor plating, a smokescreen system, ram bumpers, electrified door handles and other special features would add $165,000.
A custom-molded Bat Suit, with a blend of bulletproof Nomex and Kevlar, as well as Flamex or some other flame-resistant material, would run $45,000 to $50,000.
A decade of karate, judo and boxing lessons would cost $96,000, an education in forensic science about $41,000, and a DNA-analyzing machine some $365,000.
But the Batarang throwing blades can be had for $4 a pop. And while a Taser would run about $400, you can get a dozen smoke bombs for just $96.
Of course, the $300 million price tag leaves out such newer Batman toys as the Batplane, Batcopter and Batboat.
And in the comics, Batman even paid to build an orbiting satellite for his Justice League pals.
Said Hick: “Good luck finding one of those.”