Entertainment

BARELY LEGAL

STEVEN Bochco, pro ducer of such classic TV fare as “Hill Street Blues,” “L.A. Law,” and “NYPD Blue.” is back again – except from the look of his new show, “Raising The Bar,” he’s lowered his standards.

A lot.

The series, which deals with the battles between Manhattan public defenders, assistant district attorneys and the judges they appear before, gives equal billing to the sex lives of all of the above.

And the whole thing comes across about as realistic as a ride at Universal theme park.

Maybe when you have such bad writing, you have to grab the audience by the throat – or any other soft part – and squeeze.

That’s what Bochco does here, expecting us to believe – among other things – that sexual harassment is common in the Manhattan DA’s office.

The very first scene deteriorates right off into a smutty mess between District Attorney Nick Balco (Currie Graham) and luscious assistant D.A. Michelle Ernhardt (Melissa Sagemiller).

When Michelle enters his office in her low-cut blouse, he says something about “those two perfectly swollen mounds of perfectly creamy yogurt.” To which she replies, “Do you like sex, Nick. . . Do you think you can please me?”

Then she practically lap dances for him, which causes him to back off. This is supposed to teach us how a strong woman shows her boss that he can’t harass her. What?

As it turns out everyone in the entire judicial system in Manhattan is sleeping with everyone else. Most of them are under 30 and look like models in Armani. Right.

Have you ever seen how new ADAs and public defenders dress on their tiny salaries. There’s only one fat, un-model-looking guy – and he immediately drops dead while sweating.

Anyway, among those in the sexed-out judicial pool are Jerry Kellerman (Mark-Paul Gosselaar), a public defender who secretly sleeps with Michelle; public defender Rosalind (Gloria Ruben); too-groomed and too-rich Richard (Teddy Sears); Judge Trudy (Jane Kaczmarek) who is sleeping with her law clerk, Charlie (Jonathan Scarfe), who is sleeping with . . . well, I won’t give that away.

Everyone plays to TV stereotype – Kaczmarek’s jaded jurist in particular, who waters the flowers on her desk before acknowledging anyone in the court as a show of boredom and contempt for the jury – and the TV audience.

This is such a horrible, embarrassing and degrading role for Kaczmarek she should sue Bochco and his lawyer/collaborator David Feige for career battery.

On the upside, the second episode is 30 percent better than the first.

Maybe by episode six, it will actually be watchable.

“Raising The Bar”

Tonight at 10 on TNT