Sports

Blowhards abound in Back Atchya Week

GLASS HALF EMPTY: The Yankees broadcast crew on YES is quick to point out empty seats, some covered by tarps, in other major league parks, but they conveniently overlook the empties behind home plate at Yankees Stadium.

GLASS HALF EMPTY: The Yankees broadcast crew on YES is quick to point out empty seats, some covered by tarps, in other major league parks, but they conveniently overlook the empties behind home plate at Yankees Stadium. (Bill Kostroun/New York Post)

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Perhaps it’s time to declare National Back Atchya Week, a time to do unto others, to treat the TV guys as if they’re the idiots.

For starters, every time a Jimmy Dolan/Cablevision installation or service person (finally) shows up at your home, charge a $5 Facility Fee to enter. That’s what I’m writin’ ‘bout!

And, geez, we’re tired of being spoken to as if we’re morons.

Thursday on YES, the noted baseball theorist, Michael Kay, took a break from interpreting the Yankees-A’s game to tell us that he “just got a tweet from a young man who innocently asked, ‘Why [in Oakland’s ballpark] don’t they let people sit in the upper deck?’

“Well,” Kay answered in his best Mr. Rogers, “they’d let them sit there but they just can’t sell those seats. Not enough people wanna come, so they put tarp over the upper deck — even during the playoffs.”

Fascinating. Then why, Mr. Kay, don’t they place a tarp over those empty seats behind the plate and along the first- and third-base lines in Yankee Stadium? Why do the upper seats fill but not the lower? People don’t wanna come to sit so close?

On YES’ Yankees telecasts, attendance issues are often discussed — just not those that have anything to do with new Yankee Stadium.

The last time that was given a shot, we heard about the best seats going empty because the holders of those tickets choose to remain inside the luxurious Stadium restaurant, watching on big screen TVs.

But even idiots could deduce that no one buys $1,250 tickets to travel to Yankee Stadium to watch games on TV.

Thursday evening at the U.S. Open, Carl Pettersson pulled his approach shot directly into a green-side trap.

ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt, lifting from Golf’s Great Big Book of Absurd TV Expressions Never Actually Spoken When Playing Golf Unless You Prefer to Play Alone, then reported Pettersson’s shot “found the bunker.”

No, it didn’t! It didn’t “find” the bunker. It didn’t have time! Pettersson hit the ball right into it!

Seconds earlier, Chris Berman reported that Phil Mickelson had the lead, having “authored a 67.” Ugh, help, help me, Rhonda!

Back to Yanks-A’s, where the top of the 11th ended with Kevin Youkilis striking out with the bases loaded. Kay, in his relentless quest to sound profound, then declared, “It’s awfully hard to win games if you can’t score, and it’s hard to score if you don’t get big hits.” Fade to … commercial. Wow.

Back to the Open, where news/noise-maker Sergio Garcia had finished his first round. A bit earlier, NBC anchor Dan Hicks reported that security had been called to deal with hecklers who were on Garcia’s case for what Hicks described as his “well-documented” spat with Tiger Woods. Garcia lost that battle when he made a “fried chicken” racial crack about Woods.

Hicks, in a standard TV-bailout, likely figured that “well-documented” was all he needed to cover both the story and his journalistic fanny.

But now Garcia was with NBC/Golf Channel interviewer Steve Sands. Ready?

Sands: “Sergio, at one point you were 7-over par, you brought yourself back to 3-over. How were you able to do that, today?”

Garcia said that he began to play better, including making eagle.

Sands: “How good was that?”

“Very nice,” said Garcia.

Finally, Sands asked, “Over the course of the 18 holes, how was the reception from the fans, here?”

Garcia said, “Good, very good, for the most part.”

Sands: “Thanks. We’ll see ya tomorrow.”

Geez, why not ask if he lives around here?

Friday, ESPN/NBC cut to 18-year-old amateur Gavin Hall, who was 4-over. We hadn’t seen him before that. Gee, why now?

Well, he was about to hit an approach that went in. “Go in!” hollered Paul Azinger, as the ball rolled toward the hole — as if he/we didn’t know better. Even we idiots could surmise that it already had gone in!

Later Friday, ESPN/NBC spent 55 seconds having us watch Tiger Woods, six back, line up a putt, then a full minute watching him prepare to hit from a fairway — while elsewhere on the course the U.S. Open was being played! The U.S. Open!

Maybe it’s time we all found a bunker.

Commish doesn’t grasp what ‘Redskins’ means

Roger Goodell claims “Redskins” represents “a unifying force that stands for strength, courage, pride and respect.”

That would apply to Braves, Warriors, Blackhawks and Seminoles, but Redskins?

In other words, the commissioner of the NFL would have no problem approaching an American Indian and identifying him or her as “a redskin”? Somehow, I doubt that. He would know that he needlessly — and worthlessly — risks insulting the person.

Among those who claim to be adamant in their support of the perpetuation of the nickname, I’ve found that many concede they would not address a Native American as a “redskin.”

What many prefer to see as another silly “politically correct” issue, they acknowledge also could be a right from wrong issue, in that they wouldn’t want to hurt, person-to-person, anyone’s feelings. It’s just that they prefer not to see it that way.

The question becomes: If you were an American Indian, would you like to be called “redskin”? I wouldn’t. (For better or worse, I’m paid for my opinions, and I’ve long preferred to write ’Skins, rather than Redskins.) Aside from Goodell and team owner Daniel Snyder, who can’t understand how that could and can hurt?

A suggested compromise: Rename the team the Washington Potomacs, after the tribe that inhabited Virginia and Maryland along the Potomac River. Or, as a salute to what goes on in D.C., the Washington RedInks.

* Every sport he has worked and for every network he has worked, Sean McDonough has produced the same result: A thoughtful, literate, honest and topical — yet, nonintrusive — call. And that’s what he gave us during ESPN’s U.S. Open coverage.

* Reader Larry Mealke wonders why John Sterling tells us what the Yankees have to do in their next at-bats when he never has been able to tell us what they did in their last at-bats.

* Reader Doug McBroom asks why the Open caddies are removing red lacrosse sticks from the holes. A: They’re not lacrosse sticks, Doug, they’re Harpo Marx horns. Honk, honk.