She wins, and he loses. But you already knew that.
There wasn’t all that much to get excited about during round one of the final “American Idol” singoff. Lee DeWyze sang “The Boxer” (his choice), followed in round two by his crowd- drowsing “Everybody Hurts.”
In round one, Crystal Bowersox did a fine re prise of “Me and Bobby McGee,” and then a for gettable Broadway version of “Black Velvet” wearing a dress that did her no favors.
I had hoped that I could live my life without ever seeing people do the horrid arm-sway to either “Me and Bobby McGee” or “The Boxer.” In the final round, Lee sang “Beautiful Day,” which was generally forgettable.
But in all fairness, the singers’ voices were overpowered by the loud instruments. What happened to the concept of mike checks?
But last night wasn’t really about finalists Crystal and Lee, even though it was supposed to be. No, last night was all about Simon Scowl during his penultimate appearance as the real reason everyone watches “American Idol.”
Simon Cowell showed up in a tailored jacket over a white button-down shirt with an actual collar, which proved once and for all that, no, his head is not attached by a T-shirt band. But frankly, he was so already outta there that watching him was almost like witnessing a ghost.
Instead of showing the world what we’d be missing next year — if there is a next year — Simon was one step away from checking his watch. I half-expected him to whine, “Are we there yet?”
To DeWyze, Cowell said, “Look, this is my final time I’m ever going to judge this show. I just want to say this about you. This is what this show is all about . . . you worked hard, you remained a genuinely nice person throughout, and I wish the best for you.”
That’s what he wanted to say about him?
He then ended it all with his comments on Crystal’s knock-it-out-of-the-park version of “Up to the Mountain” by Patty Griffin. “I thought that was by far the best performance and the song of the night. And since this is the final critique I’m ever going to give, I just want to say that was outstanding.”
I say the same thing about Cowell’s time on “Idol.” Just not last night’s performance.