Title notwithstanding, “Repo Men” has nothing to do with the Emilio Estevez 1984 cult classic “Repo Man.” This interminable, blood-spattered thriller with Jude Law and Forest Whitaker is more like “Repo! The Genetic Opera,” minus the music and Paris Hilton.
In the near future, Law and Whitaker are improbable (given their 11-year age difference) former schoolmates working for The Union, a corporation that sells patients’ replacement organs — and then sends our heroes to yank them out when customers inevitably fall behind on payments.
Not for the faint of heart, Miguel Sapochnik’s film includes many bloody close-ups of Law and Whitaker wielding scalpels — both before and after Law, who’d planned to find a less demanding line of work, wakes up with an artificial heart because of a work-related accident.
It’s not exactly giving away a surprise to report that when Law’s payments are past due, their slimy boss (Liev Schreiber) sends the newly svelte Whitaker after him.
By this time Law, whose wife has left him, has gone on the lam with a scavenging drug addict (Alice Braga) with whom he lives in a ruined housing development.
Though he seems to be enjoying himself, this cable fodder is quite a comedown for former Oscar nominee Law (“Cold Mountain,” “The Talented Mr. Ripley”), whose last foray into sci-fi was “A.I. — Artificial Intelligence.” It doesn’t exactly enhance the résumé of Oscar winner Whitaker (“The Last King of Scotland”), seen last week in the equally abysmal “Our Family Wedding.”
“Repo Men” is a rare film where Toronto plays itself. It’s also the first I’ve ever seen where a typewriter is used as a lethal weapon.