Halfway through the debut yesterday of CBS’s “The Talk,” I caught myself checking my watch and thinking that maybe a better name for the show would have been “The Shutup!”
This mommy-answer to “The View” is a somewhat dumbed-down version of that show except here the panel — Julie Chen, Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Remini, Sara Gilbert and Marissa Jaret Winokur — discuss traditional “women’s topics,” i.e. kids, cooking and such.
Sara Gilbert says she thought of the idea after joining a mommy group and realizing that all moms have topics they need to talk out. And here’s where the premise begins to fall apart — as a TV show anyway.
Yes, all moms can benefit from joining discussion groups, but that’s why God invented the Internet — where discussions and answers are available on an individual basis immediately.
I just don’t really get why anyone would care about a group of successful showbiz moms discussing their kiddie trials and tribulations. Only Robinson Peete kept trying to bring up topics that might interest regular Joe moms.
Another segment involved Winokur asking people on the street about when and how to talk to kids about sex. Their expert — an idiot sex therapist — said she took her 13-year-old son with her when she bought KY Jelly. No follow-up on whether or not the kid has gone postal yet.
Christie Brinkley guested, and they fell all over themselves asking how she stays so gorgeous. Brinkley mentioned the gym product she shills for, the importance of organic vegetables and doing crunches while brushing her teeth. Hint: The rest of us can brush our teeth with carrots while doing gymnastics and will never look like her.
Brinkley wouldn’t discuss her divorce but did talk about how devastating it was that cyber bullies said terrible things about her daughter’s looks. It was at that moment that the show gave us a glimpse of what it should and could be.
Osbourne was mostly wasted and, as a mom with older kids, seemed like a redhead out of water. She only came alive when asking Brinkley if she’d had Botox while attempting to move her own face at the same time.
Today’s guest is Jennifer Lopez, another typical mom just trying to deal with twins and a gig on “American Idol.”
In all fairness, it’s tough to review a live show on its first day, and we do need to give the hosts a chance to find their footing — and more of those Brinkley honesty moments.