Tommy Heinsohn (AP)
If Johnny Most were alive and lighting himself on fire smoking during radio broadcasts, he’d be mortified how preposterously prejudiced Tommy Heinsohn is when “analyzing” Celtics games on CSN New England.
Yet throughout Saturday night’s 89-85 victory in New Orleans, his rooting reached an all-time high in lack of objectivity. Even for someone who has pledged allegiance to the Celtics his entire adult life as a player (nine Hall of Fame seasons, eight titles), coach (nine seasons, two titles; 427-263 record, .619 winning percentage, clear cut HOF credentials) and TV expressionist.
Heinsohn spent almost the entire transmission ripping, ragging and ridiculing the referees.
“Call a foul! Call a foul! Call a foul!” he bellowed at one point late in the game when Paul Pierce fell down of his own volition as if mugged while being harassed at midcourt by two armed Hornets.
Even when replays show Heinsohn is loud wrong — and that happens constantly — he remains unrepentant and not vaguely shy about favoring the Celtics the very next time or 10.
I hate homers. Anyone subscribing to NBA League Pass is all too awfully familiar with who they are — Sean Elliott, Quinn Buckner, Austin Carr, Mike Rice, Jim Petersen, Grant Long, Tony Fiorentino, Sean Tuohy, Stacey King, Michael Smith, Matt Guokas, Jerry Reynolds, Eric Snow and Scott Hastings.
They are announcers perfectly unprepared to give a balanced account of what they’re witnessing and unwilling to give us the goods on their teams’ players — until they switch uniforms, then it’s open season on LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Vince Carter, Rashard Lewis, etc. — but utterly eager to provide the dirty lowdown on opponents.
Conversely, Clark Kellogg, Stu Lantz, Walt Frazier, Gil McGregor, Mike Fratello, Phil Chenier, Greg Kelser, Jim Barnett, Jon McGlocklin, Dominique Wilkins, Derek Harper, Jack Armstrong, Leo Rautins and Eddie Johnson at least try to be fair.
That’s not something Heinsohn goes out of his way to do. However, if an enemy’s maneuvers grab him (as did David West’s intimidating 32-point, eight-rebounds, two-block, two-steal presentation for the Hornets), he will definitely shower him with aroused praise.
That makes Heinsohn even more enjoyable. Still, what tickles me most is his uncompromising outrage whenever his infallible Celtics get stiffed by a whistle . . . raising cries of inequality to an art form.
That’s entertainment! When Heinsohn’s hoopin’ n’ hollerin’, the remote remains untouched. Not even during commercials. I wouldn’t want to miss a moment of Heinsohn’s histrionics.
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I wouldn’t go here if the ending wasn’t happy, so here’s the story: After last Sunday’s Knicks-Pacers game at the Garden, Indiana radio voice Slick Leonard, four months away from his 79th birthday, suffered a heart attack on the charter bus en route to the airport.
Thinking Slick was going to die, forward Jeff Foster called Mel Daniels to alert him of the crisis.
The previous week, Daniels, a Knicks part-time scout, was in New York for a meeting with Donnie Walsh. A few years ago, Daniels underwent heart surgery. A recurrence of chest pains sent Mel moseying (he doesn’t panic easily) to a specialist recommended by the team’s doctor.
It was determined one of Daniels’ arteries was blocked. Would it kill him if he waited a week, he asked? No. So he went on a scheduled Texas trip.
And lo and behold, in the middle of last week, Slick and Mel, the former Pacers coach and MVP center of the franchise’s three ABA championships, reunited in an Indianapolis hospital for heart procedures on the same day.
Leonard was first on the operating table, and became the delighted implant recipient of a defibrillator. Shortly before Daniels got rolled out of his room to have his artery unclogged, a concerned visitor knocked on his door. It was Slick.
The bad news, Daniels told The Mysterious J: “I can’t fly for a week.”
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Considering everything said and written, underlines column contributor Sam Lefkowitz, “I wouldn’t be all that surprised if the Heat were to run the rest of the schedule. Their toughest opponents are the Nuggets and Celtics, both at home.”
Mike Bibby is determined to make me eat alphabet soup (my computer). While James Jones (0-for-3), Mike Miller (0-for-1), Eddie House (no attempts) and Mario Chalmers (0-for-1 before injuring knee) were scoreless from downtown, the Heat’s recent addition drained 4 of 8 3-pointers (5-for-9 overall) in Saturday’s 103-98 win over the Nuggets. Bibby had 14 points, two assists, one steal, one block and no turnovers in 34 minutes — not bad for someone who, a week ago, looked like he was in shuffleboard shape.
My favorite play last week was Nuggets forwards Kenyon Martin and Nene working the two-man game to imperfection.
Talk about clock mismanagement! With 15.2 seconds on the game clock in their game Saturday against the Celtics, Hornets down 87-83, Chris Paul futzed around in slow motion before indifferently infiltrating and finding West, who took his sweet time putting up a cruise-by at the 3.2 mark; Emeka Okafor dunked the miss. The Hornets were forced to foul Ray Allen, an automatic two, and that was that.
Is it me, or is it a sure sign of spring when Hasheem Thabeet blooms in the D-League? For those clocking his post-UConn career, Thabeet earned the rare double-bonus, demoted by two different districts, Memphis and Houston.
So, the Mets cut Oliver Perez the same day Bruce Pearl was fired as coach of Tennessee. Column castigator Frank Drucker hails it “a banner day for the underachieving and the underhanded.”