How far would you go to get a rich man?
Would you have sex with a man just to stay in his pocket? Lose weight, get a nip tuck and dress to his liking? And in doing so, potentially give up a chance at true love?
It’s an idea some women toy with but never see through and others refuse to even consider for moral reasons.
But then there is a group of women who have absolutely no issue whatsoever hooking up with a man purely for his dough.
Call them what you want – “gold diggers”, “sugar babes”, “exploiters”, “opportunists” – they prey on men with money and do so without guilt or shame.
A woman who says she’s dated her fair share of millionaires spoke to News Corp Australia candidly about the ups and downs of entering a relationship for money – and warned you better be prepared to be “submissive”, expect competition and don’t try to make the men change.
Tracey (not her real name) started dating wealthy men in her social circle when she was 19 and later via date-a-millionaire-specific websites
The university student from Queensland says she is attracted to wealthy men because she never has to worry about paying the bills.
“I just find it attractive – some people like dark hair, some like blue eyes, I just like a giant wallet,” she said.
Now in her twenties, the bubbly blonde says she has dated regular blokes “for the diversity” but keeps on returning to rich men.
“I just remember why I like to date rich men,” she says, laughing.
“There is always a sort of persona that I like in rich men – the confidence of being able to look after you.
“There is that 1950s housewife thing, I feel confident being that person, I don’t have to worry about paying the bills.”
But it’s not all peachy keen for women like Tracey that enter into these sorts of arrangements. The men, like the women, also have expectations they want met. And it comes as no surprise that physical attributes are top of the priority list.
“Everyone is different, with money or not, but men with money are always at social outings so looking good and being presentable is definitely an attribute,” Tracey said.
“Nobody wants to rock up with Ms Tubby to a conference. Staying fit as well as being bubbly and socially apt are a must.”
Tracey warns when you date a rich man you have to accept that other women will be swimming around him like sharks.
“If you are with men with money there’s always going to be competition, that’s the number one thing to remember,” she said.
Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of dating a rich man, as experienced by Tracey, is they expect their woman to do as she is told to.
“I can’t stand the neediness, quite often they are in need of attention, that gets to me a little bit, and it’s always them calling the shots so you have to be submissive,” she said.
“I put up with it even though it’s not the person I am.”
However she says there is a slight difference between self-made millionaires and ready-made millionaires.
“Self-made millionaires, they can go back to reality, I like them. But the ones that come from money, they are so wrapped up in their own world they’re hard to tweak,” she said.
“People that have made their own money often possess the characteristics that I like in a man – they are successful, driven and motivated.”
Throughout the conversation, Tracey shows no sign of guilt or shame for her actions because, as she explained, she makes her true intentions known.
“I guess they know, but I’m really upfront; I tell them ‘if you can’t support me, I can’t support you’. I ask, ‘Can you support me?’, and they say ‘of course’,” she says.
Interestingly, while many of the men appear to be after surface attributes like looks, Tracey says nearly all of the men she sees go into the relationships hoping to fall in love – and that’s where they get let down.
“That’s what they don’t like, that I’m not in love with them,” she says.
“If I don’t love them after a period of time, I give it up.”
On the flip side, she hopes to fall in love too. She’s fallen for two of the 10 millionaires and billionaires she says she’s dated but on both occasions the relationship never lasted.
“Billionaires are often very nomadic, it’s hard to keep up,” she said.
“I go in with the hope of falling in love, yes, of course everyone wants the full package, whether you get it depends, but that changes every day. At the moment I’m very happy.”
Financial stress was the biggest reason for relationship breakdowns in Australia, the 2011 Relationships Indicators Survey revealed. Taking that dismal fact into consideration, doesn’t it make sense to look for someone with money? Thankfully, according to experts, the answer is NO.
Relationships Australia director of operations NSW Lyn Fletcher said while money can ease financial pressure in a relationship it does not make up for everything.
“Financial security is important to people but it is only one factor. It’s like marrying someone because they have nice legs, or because they are an engineer or a doctor and you always wanted to marry a doctor. It won’t always make you happy,” Ms Fletcher said.
More often than not financial stress in relationships is just a screen for other underlying issues, like a lack of communication on finances.
“Have a money date. Talk about what is important to you. Some people let it slide but when the time comes and there is not enough to pay a bill it can cause issues.”
Ms Fletcher says couple should set goals and work together to make all their dreams come true.
“Sometimes working together to get what you want is something that can really strengthen a relationship and makes you focus on what is important to you,” she said.
“It’s all about goals, not money.”
Most importantly, keep your expectations real and don’t give in to social pressure.
“The higher expectations are putting a lot of pressure on people. If you can be satisfied with what you have and have a goal and a means to reach it you will be happier.”
This article originally appeared on NEWS.COM.AU