The unsurprising twist about the weekend’s Masters coverage on CBS is that Saturday’s was no different from Sunday’s. When Tiger Woods was behind by five, Saturday, or tied at the top, yesterday, it was still mostly all Woods, mostly all the time.
What TV now does best is beat things to death. Doesn’t matter who or what it is — Charlie Sheen or Charles Barkley — TV is going to squeeze it dry.
The Masters used to be televised by CBS as one of golf’s majors, as special. Follow the leaders, show a few shots from old and recent champs, but no one’s bigger than the Masters or the game.
Until Tiger Woods.
And Saturday, the Masters became just another tournament in which Tiger Woods, plus some other guys, played. The same pathetic formula.
It didn’t matter that Woods’s once-incomparable game has been on the fade.
It didn’t matter that Woods was five strokes off the lead.
It didn’t matter that eight players were ahead of him.
It didn’t matter that Woods in the last two years has been self-scandalized, proven to be the opposite of the wife and kids family-first guy, nothing close to the greatest-human-ever image that TV carved for him — and still held tightly to.
It didn’t matter that he’s a never-could-hide-it and still-can’t brat on the golf course.
And it didn’t matter that this was the Masters.
The most live video, Saturday, was devoted to Woods. The most taped video was devoted to Woods. The most talk was devoted to Woods.
It became so silly — rather, it stayed so silly — that when co-leader Jason Day appeared in a taped interview, it was to hear him talking about Woods!
We didn’t see wonder kid Rory McIlroy, who was seven shots ahead of Woods going into the final round, lining up putts. But we saw Woods slowly line up putt after putt, often from both sides of the hole — a colossal, aggravating waste of time for those who tuned to the Masters to watch the Masters.
And why, throughout the telecast, were we supposed to feel worse for Woods after a bad shot or missed putt than for anyone and everyone else? Why was it a bigger pity? Why, for the last 14 years, have viewers been told to regard his disappointments as a bigger shame to endure than everyone else’s?
Sure, I want to see every shot Woods takes. He may still be what he was — the best. But everything else before and after every shot has become and remains insulting.
Yesterday, with Woods closing and playing superbly, the telecast remained inextricably listed to starboard.
Early, after Woods made a 10-foot birdie putt — nothing extraordinary — Verne Lundquist reacted as if he’d just seen Michelangelo’s Pieta for the first time: “Perfect! Ab-so-loot-lee perfect!”
Later, after Woods’ fabulous approach to 15, David Feherty hollered: “After all he’s been through this week!” Like what? What did he go through that no one else did? Bogeys? Cold sore? A bug bite? Was his hot cereal served cold?
Geoff Ogilvy was still in it? Who knew until he was shown, one back, on 16? A putt later, he was tied for the lead.
If not the Masters, what golf should be televised free of such absurd Tiger Woods excess? Ah, forget it; by now we should have known not to expect any different or any better.
SNY duo: Pudge Nat callin’ shots behind plate
ON yesterday’s SNY Mets telecast, Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez said Nats’ manager Jim Riggleman might be calling the pitches, which wouldn’t make sense with vet Ivan Rodriguez catching.
But Rodriguez has been knocked for calling mostly fastballs with a runner on first.
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PanderLand: The Manny Ramirez, again been drug-tested out of baseball, must be different from the one discussed Saturday by ESPN analysts Nomar Garciaparra and newcomer Mark Mulder. They claimed that this Manny was a great teammate, great guy, true professional. Please. So why was he always expendable?
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The ESPN April graphic we’re waiting for: “Grand Slam HR Leaders — Smith 1, Jones 1, 783 tied with 0.”
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SNY’s Mets’ telecasts sure are heavy with creepy, scammy commercials, the kind that bring to mind Giuseppe Franco. Or Bernie Madoff.
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Box score of the week: Cubs 4-1 over Arizona. Ready? Randy Wells went six innings for the win (W). Next, Sean Marshall one-third of an inning for a hold (H), followed by Marcos Mateo‘s one-third for an “H,” then John Grabow one-third for an “H,” Kerry Wood‘s two innings for an “H” and Carlos Marmol‘s one inning for the save. Got it?
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If Augusta National weren’t in its “usual magnificent condition,” would anyone on CBS tell us?
Rangers playoff tix too pricey for fans
GIVEN Saturday’s NHL results, the different rooting interests and emotions between Rangers fans and Rangers fans who are ticket subscribers again can be measured as considerable.
That the Rangers snuck in — and reasonably aren’t expected to go far — strikes the stake-less fan as irrelevant. But subscribers? Well . . .
They’ve won the opportunity to get soaked some more, only harder. And for what? Might it have been better if the Rangers finished ninth instead of eighth?
While the leap in Knicks ticket prices has been given more attention, Rangers patrons have also been ordered to stand still and act like an ATM.
As of the club’s weak entry to the postseason, way-up-there $60 seats jump to $90 for the first round. Next season, the cost of pretty-good Ranger tickets will double — $108 per ticket to $210. And their cost will leap again if the Rangers make the playoffs. And these are the “affordable” seats!
What costs so much more to run the Garden in the first round of the NBA and NHL playoffs than during the regular season? And then costs a lot more in the second round than the first? Oh, I see, it’s just price-gouging.
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Bud (Selig) Ball: The Yanks, this Sunday versus Texas, have a kids’ promotion — first 18,000 14 and younger receive a Six Flags discount certificate. The game’s an 8:05 p.m. start for ESPN. (Nice catch by reader Steve Epstein.)
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Yale hockey player Mandi Schwartz died last week from leukemia. She was 23. Her brother, Jaden, was the Blues’ No. 1 draft pick, last year. Blues president and former Ranger/MSG Network analyst John Davidson attended the funeral in Wilcox, Saskatchewan, population 222.