Could you imagine having been Keith Hernandez’s roomie on road trips? Geez. He’d have been like something out of a Jackie Mason routine.
“I don’t care if the thermostat reads 72, it feels like 71 in here!” . . . “They call this whole wheat toast?” . . . “How ’bout sending up some towels larger than the bath mat?” . . . “Run down and press the elevator for me, will ya? I hate waiting.”
Thursday afternoon, the Mets played in very cold and windy Chicago. But on SNY, from the seat in Wrigley where Hernandez sat, it was the Klondike, mid-February, not a fit day for man nor beast, certainly not for Divas nor Hernandez.
Throughout a forgettable game, a 9-3 Cubs win, Hernandez’s whining about the weather made for great inside-out fun.
At one point, Gary Cohen told him that if he was so cold he should wear a hat — then quickly added that Hernandez doesn’t wear hats because he enjoys showing off his full head of hair.
Hernandez didn’t reject the tweak. And of his full head of hair he added, “Yes, I do, thank God.”
But Hernandez saved his best for last. The Cubs brought in their closer, Carlos Marmol, to pitch the ninth. Marmol needed the work. But when he walked the first batter, Ruben Tejada, then went 3-0 against Scott Hairston, who was hitting .224, Hernandez’s prominent impatient side, even in the cold, boiled over:
“Geez, if you’re an everyday player this’ll drive you nuts!”
Same if you’re Keith Hernandez, calling the game on TV.
One could almost see Hernandez, 25 years ago, standing near first base, rolling his eyes, hands on hips while mumbling sarcasms. He’s beautiful when he’s angry!
Surely, Hernandez’s MVP of the game was Carlos Beltran. He struck out to end the game. But before he did, Hernandez said this: “Oh, I am just cold to the bone.”
Try wearing a hat.
Kay bobbles key point on Posada
Whether he’s calling Yankees games on YES or working ESPN-1050 radio, Michael Kay still isn’t smart enough to know that he’s not that smart. Otherwise, he would stop treating listeners, including his 1050 sidekick Don La Greca, like morons.
A caller on Thursday said that while he’s a longtime Jorge Posada fan, he’s getting the feeling that the Yankees are stuck with him as a matter of loyalty and legacy.
Kay vehemently disagreed, claiming that the Yankees are not, to even a tiny extent, sustaining Posada’s presence as a matter of “pity” or they immediately would release him.
La Greca wasn’t sure about that. He noted the Yankees have a Jorge Posada promotional night, June 10; to release Posada before that would make matters extremely ugly.
Kay had a quick and sharp answer for that: The Mets are having an Ike Davis bobblehead giveaway game and Davis is on the DL!
It’s difficult to distinguish whether such an absurd response from such a slick observer of the local sports scene was more disingenuous than childish. Gratefully, La Greca provided the distinction: Davis, who is 24, is injured. Posada, who is 39, is not injured.
Or did Kay think that La Greca is as stupid as he thinks we are?
The 21st Century Mets seem haunted. What first seems a minor injury, leads to two missed games, then the DL, then to a month, two months, the rest of the season and part of the next season, and beyond.
Wednesday, during Mets-Cubs on WFAN, Wayne Hagin noted that Angel Pagan is returning from 30 days on the DL with a strained stomach muscle. To that, Howie Rose said he spoke with Pagan the day he went on the DL and Pagan told him that he felt fine.
Francesa still a real piece of ‘quirk’
Several readers noted that Mike Francesa’s takes on the Jays’ AL East chances and the Mavs-Thunder series on Tuesday afternoon sounded suspiciously like the takes they’d read in that morning’s newspapers. That brings us to one of my favorite Francesa stories.
A few years ago, before the NHL went to shootouts, the Isles’ Rick DiPietro made a fantastic save at the buzzer to preserve an OT tie against the Blues. DiPietro’s save, it was widely reported, saved the game.
But later that week I wrote that a “quirk in the system” made DiPietro’s save irrelevant. The Isles would have earned a point for reaching OT either way, and because the Blues played in the other conference, the Isles would have lost nothing had DiPietro not made that save.
Two days later on WFAN, Francesa, who rarely addresses hockey, boasted that he’d discovered “a quirk in the system” — DiPetro’s OT save against the Blues, he declared, was irrelevant!
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After a clip aired of Wednesday night’s Scott Cousins-Buster Posey home-plate collision, ESPNews’s anchor on Thursday said that if we wanted updates on the condition of the Giants’ star catcher we should, “Go to ESPN.com.” Really? Why not ESPNews? Or was ESPN exploiting Posey’s injury for cross-promotion?
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Not sure why Sirius/XM sports talk host Dino Costa, vin mocking hopeful Mets’ co-owner David Einhorn as a jerk, also felt it relevant to note that Einhorn is “a Jewish guy.” Perhaps Costa will explain why during his next show.
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Friday, ESPN’s “SportsCenter” wasted an entire segment debating this: “Scottie Pippen says LeBron James could be better than Michael Jordan.” There are times when ESPN seems to go out of its way to present issues designed to keep fools out of traffic.
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Weekday Boomer Esiason’s expert assertion, on WFAN/MSG Friday morning, that Pete Rozelle came up with the name, “Super Bowl,” was a bad guess. Chiefs’ owner Lamar Hunt hit on it as he watched his daughter play with a Super Ball.
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NBA Glossary: What used to be whistled as carrying or palming — a loss-of-possession violation — is now called a crossover dribble.
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Good-faith, good stuff from the staff of ESPN’s “SportsNation.” After it was pointed out that hosts Colin Cowherd and Michelle Beadle bashed Jorge Posada based on a quote that they’d misheard, the show made good on its mistake.
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From Jon Hayman, Santa Monica, Calif.: “TNT adding Reggie Miller to the Marv Albert, Steve Kerr team is like adding Barry Manilow to Simon and Garfunkel.”